Reflect, regulate, repair…

Emotions are powerful.

The root word “emotre” translates simply, “to move.”  Emotions tell us that it’s time to ACT.  Every decision, therefore, is laced with emotion.  Period.  There is no such thing as making a rational decision with only the thinking part of your cranium. Can’t be done.  Most of my clients try to fight this fact.  They want to make decisions without emotion.  Here’s the root reason for most men. Don’t miss this.  This is HUGE.The reason that most men want to make “emotionless” decisions is the same reason that most times, they want to have emotionless conversations as well.  In a word…

FEAR.

Most men, fear feeling.  The reason is that we’ve been so hardwired by our survival instincts that we are afraid of what happens when we allow ourselves to feel.  We fear that we’ll lose control.  We fear that we’ll get really pissed and that we’ll do something that later, we’ll regret.  So we build fortresses.  We wall off.  We tend toward the “even keel” and this can all be for the good.  There are countless confrontations that call for restraint.  Just not all…

Fathers, Husbands, and Leaders that bring out the best in those around them, work toward mastering their emotions.  Mastering one’s emotions is a lifetime endeavor and requires hours and hours of practice and study.  Most of us don’t want to work that hard.

Most men simply “reflect” whatever emotions they “receive.”  In other words when someone comes into their office with a bad attitude they reflect the same back.  When a team member leads with something that is perceived as an “attack,” the leader responds with a “hell strike” of their own.  Somehow, most leaders don’t play fair.  They use their position and power to “power over” those around them.  Since the world is full of fear based followers, it only makes sense that normal leaders, simply reflect that fear.

Leaders that are mastering their emotional life are not in the reflecting business.  Here’s the word difference.  When you experience this, it will make a world of difference…

Emotional masters “regulate” not only their emotions, but they’re able to regulate the emotions of another.  Magic…

When was the last time you transmitted hope to those around you that were full of FEAR?

When was the last time that someone entered your office on the attack and you absorbed the blows and the brunt and returned none of it?

When was the last time you tuned into your emotions as you experienced them?

When was the last time you blew it and led by being the first to “repair” the relationship?

When was the last time you “calmed” yourself while your spouse, your coworker, your leader, or your anything was trying to “trigger” a fight?

Tell me more, my friend.

Tell me more.

BTL Leaders are master connectors.  Master connectors understand their own emotional life and the emotional lives of those they have the privilege of leading.  These BTL Leaders get our best and absorb us at our worst.  They make mistakes too.  They blow it.  The magic is that they also lead the way in the “repair” business.  BTL Leaders are always in the business of repairing, real relationships.  Yea, BABY.

These rare humans are able to change our mood just by being “with us.”  These BTL Leaders regulate.  They reflect the best in us and regulate the worst.  We feel better just being “with them.”  Magic.

Remember, this is our AIM…