The security of deeper waters

Sounds like a contradiction. Deeper waters seem scary – we might lose control and go under.

So we live in the shallows, work in the shallows, play in the shallows…and drown in the shallows.

It’s counterintuitive, but shallow waters have bigger storms, bigger waves, and bigger consequences. When tsunamis come, it’s the shallow coastal waters that experience the most destruction — they barely cause a ripple in the deep waters. When hurricanes come, seasoned sailors untie their boats and head out to sea where they won’t be dashed on the rocks.

Worldviews are like waters…and most of us live in the shallows of false hope & false security. To guard against the threat of storms, we expend countless time & energy piling sandbags and building dikes “just in case.” What is “enough” produces besetting neuroticism that robs us of peace, joy and adventure. Because when the big storm finally comes, as it always does, nothing holds it back.

The answer? Stop asking “how to survive in the shallows” and develop a deeper worldview. You don’t HAVE to live in the shallows. Most of us live in a shallow worldview because we don’t LIKE thinking about a deeper worldview. It’s hard work, there can be pain involved, and it’s kind of scary. Maybe what’s scariest about it is the very idea that we’d actually NEED it. It’s easier to live in denial, in false harmony, in idealism, in the diversion of the moment — than reality. To think that those bad things in life only happen to other people & companies. To bad people & companies. To unlucky people & companies. That’s called mythical thinking. It’s easier, but it’s shallow.

Toto and I were talking today that if there was just one thing we could tell our clients, it would be this — develop a deeper worldview, and SOONER. Having the gift of time this week to slow down in a Florida hospital room reflecting on life with my 80 yr old dad, I’m even more convinced. 25 years ago my Dad & I lived in a shallow worldview where 3-yr old sons of responsible parents didn’t just die in their sleep but they do. My dad Jack had the horrific job of finding my son Jack and having to give me the news. We were jolted into re-examining our answers to questions like:

What is most important in life?
Does God exist? If so, what kind of God is he? Why does evil exist?
Is there a heaven? Are there really no more tears there?
What is worth spending time on?
What do I say yes to? What do I say no to? And why?
What role does $$ play in life?
What would you regret most if one of your loved ones died tonight?
What would you regret most if you died tonight?
How do I set priorities?
What do I believe about what the world says about happiness? about significance?

A shallow worldview causes a shallow life. Don’t wait for a tragedy to cultivate a deeper worldview. Part of the role fellow builders can play is to be the “tow boat” to help you enter the deeper waters of meaning & purpose in life. Toto helped me figure out my faith, and the spiritual buoyancy to weather the worst storms.

Who is building you? How deep is your worldview? Have you settled for life in shallow waters? Do you have clarity on the big questions of life or are you majoring in the minor ones?

p.s. so my Dad learned today he gets to go home soon to part of the “good” that arose from his developing a deeper worldview…four eagerly awaiting sons & daughters adopted from Guatemala who got a chance in America they otherwise wouldn’t have. 15 years ago my dad sold his boat, didn’t buy a plane and decided to do something better.