Give what you want…

Yesterday, I got angry during practice 54. I had not gone into practice looking to start a fight. I simply assumed the two with the conflict from our last practice would have “worked it out” by the time they came together again. Nope. Nothing. “Hadn’t had the time,” said one. “I was done with it,” said two. So, this pair continued along their pa (passive aggressive) path.

Couples that last a lifetime and couples that divorce have the same amount of conflict according to research done by John and Julie Gottman. 69% of marital conflict is perpetual in both kinda couples. One learns to laugh; the other learns to loathe. The key lies in the funniest of places. The key to learning to laugh, not loathe, lies in the couples ability to “work it out” early and often. Couples that work it out learn how to talk about what they want and respond positively to each others bids, more often than normal. Normal is not the one you want.

However, the key lies in any couples ability to get comfortable being uncomfortable 69% of the time. Yes, you are reading correctly; get comfortable being uncomfortable. This will be real, hard, work.

Remember, 69% of conflict is perpetual. Meaning a bunch of bids are going to come up empty if you don’t learn to laugh about what seems like such a pisser at the present. And, you have to learn to resolve the 31% of conflict that is resolvable. Too often couples “haven’t had the time or are just done with it” by the time they finally get around to working it out. Funny, huh…

Today, learn how to fight. Learn how to talk. Speak CCD and from the heart. Tell your partner what you want and why. Ask them what they want. Give each other what you can and learn to laugh about the 69% where you’re coming up empty. STOP your pa ways and learn the power behind real PA (productive action). Too many of you don’t know how to fight fair. Funny, it starts with you learning how to give what you want. Simple. Want better relationships? Let me practice being CCD and give you the root PA you’ve been looking for. Here it is. Do NOT miss this.

Give what you want…