Betrayal…

Betrayal, I believe, stirs negative emotions worse than death. Franklin was right about death and taxes, he should have added “betrayal” to his list of absolutes. All humans, if they live long enough, will betray and experience being betrayed. Here’s the problem, however. We will acutely experience one and mostly miss the other. Here’s what I mean.

Think back to your worst taste of betrayal. You, most likely, can recall the moment,the act, the word, the silence, the sights, sounds, and smells of your betrayer. It might have been years or even decades in your history, yet your recall is better than good; it’s as if you can “re-live” this searing moment as if it just happened.

Now, think back to when you betrayed another. Can you dial this one up with lightening like clarity? This one is mostly likely a bit harder to find when you’re scanning working memory and looking for some record of your worst offense toward another. Funny what the cranium keeps painfully clear and what it tends to conveniently push to the recesses.

Want better relationships today and tomorrow? Change your mind. Forgive and forget the one that betrayed you. This will really hurt. Acute, personal pain here we come. Remind yourself, instead, of those you’ve betrayed. STOP feeling you’ve “been cut to the bone.” STOP thinking they “just need to get over it.” Humans, remember, are naturally over-tuned to their own sense of justice. Flip this. Tune yourself toward a more accurate view of you. See what you’ve mostly missed. See when you’ve cut another to the bone, and repair.

Transformational relationships are led by master repairmen. Be one. Your relationships just got better instead of bitter. Betrayal is the worst and I’m sorry you’ve tasted it. And, I’m sorry to say others have tasted yours. Lead in repairing, my friend. Lead in repair…