Here’s one of my signature beliefs. We are designed for relationships. We are designed to be just like transformers. Kind of a weird thought, I know. But, it’s true. Here’s what I mean. Transformers are toys that your kids may play with that change shapes to become something even better than they were. Better than before they were transformed. We humans are designed to transform ourselves and our teams. We are designed to improve as we mature. We are designed to transform those we touch as well. Very cool.
Relationships are designed to transform.
The sad reality is that I have very few relationships that are transformational. One of my stated CORE Purposes is to, “Be a true friend to a few” and yet I struggle to maintain even the few. What’s up with that? Here’s the root why.
It’s just easier to transact.
Transformational relationships are HARD. Don’t get me wrong, transactional relationships are not easy but they sure are easier. It just doesn’t take as much effort to develop good relationships where each party gets what they want and move on. I don’t have to let somebody “in” and take the risk that they’ll use something they find against me. Transactional relationships are good clients, good friends, good sons and daughters, good neighbors, good partners, good guys, and good wives.
What if good aint good enough?
What if you and I were made for so much more? What if we were made to transform? Would you settle for the mediocre middle if a great life was within your design spec? I am challenging myself, my family, friends, and clients to transform. My biggest challenge is allowing others to transform me. My biggest challenge is ALLOWING others to transform me.
Relationships are meant to transform us. We are meant to transform together. As our tagline summarizes, together we improve. The transformation process cannot be followed from books or borrowed from your ancestors. Transformation requires you and another human allowing the process to happen. Transformation is a rare treat. Most, I’m convinced, leave this life without tasting this feast, mostly because they are afraid of revealing their very own internal BEAST.
Today, for me, the relationship where transformation is most pronounced is a place I least expected only a few short years ago. Today, for me, the relationship that is most revealing to me and to my character is one where I’m the big guy and the transformer is the little guy. I’m the big boss and he’s the lowest guy on the depth chart. I’m the oldest and he’s the youngest, in this system.
You see, today, my transformer is my youngest son.
My son is bringing out the best in me, he’s giving me confidence and quiet clarity, he’s renaming me in ways I’ve never imagined, he’s showing me what it looks like to NOT be afraid of peer pressure, he’s giving me energy every time we’re together. He is showing me what it looks like to stand. He is becoming distinct in a high school where fitting in is what matters – just not to him. He is modeling the way, embracing pain and suffering, and showing his teen system some strange kinda love. Isn’t that supposed to be MY role? What’s up with that!
Sure we can be transformed by those that do NOT like us. There is power in hearing the dissenting voice. There is a place to hear this voice and to let those people build you. However, the longest lasting voice for transformation is one that, when heard, or even when silently observed says, I LOVE you. I accept you. I believe in you. And, I want to make you even better. I want to bring out the best in you.
Today, go be that voice for someone on your team.
Go.
The world is full of transactional teams. We really do NOT need another example of mediocrity. What we want to see is someone willing to ALLOW, wanting to allow, making it safe to allow us to transform them. Today, be that leader that is allowing someone low on the depth chart to deeply change you. Go on. You’ve got nothing to fear. While you’re at it…
Transform me.
BUILT TO LEAD 
Great post I really enjoyed it. Let us all be transformed.