High performers are not normal. Rarely, do they fit in. Oftentimes they exclude those they’ve previously held close. High performers have climbed into some rare, oftentimes, unoccupied air and have moved from being distinct to appearing distant.
Elite performers are exceptional and oftentimes belong to exclusive clubs. All American, All pro, HOF, CEO, President, Owner, Founder, Spartan, SEAL, Jayhawk, or even Buckeye. Exclusive clubs are where elite take up residence and form all kinda relations. Community comes behind closed doors where elite performers sharpen one another and grow closer in the process. All is good as elite v. elite, these like minded souls strengthen and stretch on the road toward becoming a band of brothers.
Elite’s underbelly is exposed here.
SEAL’s, as an example, suffer a 90% divorce rate. CEO’s and Presidents are not far behind. Hell, T. Boone Pickens (THE Titan of Oil) just closed the door on divorce number four seemingly moments before signing up for marriage number five. Elites underbelly is exposed here. Elite performers gotta learn they are the definition of the “damn few.” They have to learn how to be inclusive with those they hold closest. This seems obvious from the comfort and community found in the valley. However, try noticing the nuance when you occupy the corner office, and you’ll learn it’s not nearly so easy at altitude. Elite have to understand becoming ONE is always easier in the locker room whether it’s with SEAL’s, Jayhawks, or your local Y.P.O.! Elite performers gotta keep perspective and not believe their own bullshit or their teams.
Elite’s underbelly is subtle. Elite performers have worked really hard to climb to the peak, the pinnacle of their league. They’ve moved from normal to good. They’ve climbed from good to great. They’ve worked their way from great men/women to becoming masters commited to excellence. Finally, they’ve mastered their craft to the nth degree and have reached some kinda elite status. They stand out in a crowd. Subtlely the creep begins. They begin to allow the accolades in and look down a bit more.
Elite’s underbelly is the fine line in becoming ONE.
Yes, it is always a fine line between being ONE, distinct and deeply connected, to becoming ONE, distinct and disconnected. Do not miss this. This could be huge. The road toward mastery is the one you want and yet it too comes with a series of unintended consequences. Elite performers gotta tune into those closest to them. Elite performers goota tune into those close and not in the club, so to speak. Elites gotta really tweak their tuneage at home and dial down intensity while dialing up their ability to be interested. Elites gotta learn to “flip the switch” while remaining who they are. ONE, distinct and deeply connected, is the rare air you want, especially with those you hold closest. Real, hard, work, my elite friend. Real. Hard. Work. The enemy is the subtle creep of believing we’re better than we in fact are. We’re good now, right…
God, help me gain perspective. God, help me see through your lens; my own, not so much. God, help me help my family, friends, and clients see the underbelly around ’em. God, help me…
BUILT TO LEAD 
I love the subtle, but critical distinction between….”Yes, it is always a fine line between being ONE, distinct and deeply connected, to becoming ONE, distinct and disconnected.” Great thinking my friend. See you in the AM Chet. SEAL time.
Interesting post, but what makes you think we don’t already? That’s the very essence of being elite–managing the mental throttle control and “zooming in” / “zooming out” as situations–and personalities–dictate. Just my thoughts.
Jeff – I don’t understand your comment. Tell me more about what you mean by your statement “what makes you think we don’t already?” Thanks for tuning in…
Hey Chet, sorry for the confusion. My post was in response to the statement, “Elite performers gotta tune into those closest to them. Elite performers goota tune into those close and not in the club, so to speak. Elites gotta really tweak their tuneage at home and dial down intensity while dialing up their ability to be interested. Elites gotta learn to “flip the switch” while remaining who they are. ONE, distinct and deeply connected, is the rare air you want, especially with those you hold closest.”
My reply was based on the contention that those abilities/behaviors cited above are what actually define elite individuals and elite teams–flipping the switch, wearing a different hat in different settings, etc…Otherwise, they wouldn’t have garnered the title “elite.” I spent 13 years as a SEAL, and what I gleaned from the post was that the above behaviors are absent within elite rankings, but in reality they’re actually what define us as elite.
For me, whether I can stay on the healthy side of the fine line, avoiding the creep, depends on my clarity of which Kingdom I am ultimately pursuing – mine or God’s. The cost and carnage of pursuing my kingdom only/ultimately is too high at the end of the game. Something about gaining the whole world and losing my soul…Thanks for this reminder.