Many a parent overly identify with their offspring. Many treat their “emerging adults” as if they were teenagers and their teens as if they were ten. Many treat their ten year olds as if they were toddlers. Many a parent value risk aversion over the opportunity for real growth. We just do. Afterall, we’re talking about our babies.
The greatest leaders throughout history have been able to master a few things consistently. Great leaders create a sense, among their followers, of both community and autonomy. We are wired to belong AND become. Our wiring creates conflict within. Do you see it? The most influential parents see and bring clarity to their young. The same can be said of virtuous leaders – we oftentimes refer to this gift as wisdom…
All humans are wired to belong to someone, to fit in somewhere, to be a part of something bigger than themselves, and, paradoxically, to become their own man/woman. We deeply desire both. Few leaders/parents are strong enough in their CORE to give what’s not been passed from their parents. Sad, but true. This can start to change, with Y.O.U.
Remember, parents, your greatest creation will be your own and along the way you’ll discover the acute pain of no longer owning what will always occupy a corner of your heart. Sweet and bitter…
No company will test your patience and love as much as these will. No company will frustrate and worry you as much as these will. No company will bring you more joy and blessedness than these will. No company will test your leadership ability as much as these will. And no challenge will be more rewarding than living in the chaos with your creations and giving someone the gift of belonging while getting out of the way of their becoming.
God, help me become such a human.
God, help me.
BUILT TO LEAD 
Absolutely brilliant.
Reminds me of the beautiful writing of Kahlil Gibran who, in THE PROPHET, wrote…”
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, “Speak to us of Children.”
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”
Thanks, Ira. Beautiful thoughts…