Today, during a grueling practice between a couple teammates struggling to connect, I asked them what is the opposite of addiction. I primed them by informing them it is not sobriety. They looked at me like I was from Mars. Tired, frustrated, self absorbed, and sincerely sick of working on something neither thinks is ever going to change, they looked like so many tired teammates I’ve seen before. They both looked down, hoping the other would attempt to answer. I could see them counting down the minutes till practice would end, Chet would disappear, they old script would replay and the same dull, chronic pain would replace the acute stuff this practice had ’em sitting in.
After a few seconds of silence I asked them if they had heard of the book titled, Chasing the Scream,by Johann Hari. They both shook their heads sideways, nope, never heard of it. It’s a great, thought provoking read about the war on drugs which began back in 1914 in the good, old U.S.A. It will change a bunch of your beliefs about addiction if you open your mind enough to let it. And, I reminded them this is where I first read the opposite of addiction and agreed. You see, Hari thinks quite unlike me and alot like me. He and I agree addictions are more about feelings than chemicals. Fact.
The reason these two teammates keep turning to their addiction of choice instead of toward each other is because of how it feels to turn toward a teammate you don’t trust. At least the bottle and the phone are predictable. So these two like countless others across this continent and every other one, plug in and pour another instead of put themselves out and TALK. So the cycle repeats and the team underperforms. The opposite of addiction is what they need but can’t quite get themselves to tough it out and try. They, like so many, are too afraid of getting burned again, so they hide. Numb and distracted. Numb and distracted. Numb and distracted. This describes the life of the addict. Numb and distracted. The opposite?
Connection.
You cannot be the change without connecting. The opposite of addiction is connection. Study the various forms, you’ll see the lack of connection at its very root. Wanna break whatever addictive cycle you’re in? You will not do it alone. Connect. Find a teammate and ask them for help. Replace the tired script that tells you to go numb and all kinda distracted and wipe it clean. Connect. TALK. Be vulnerable. Trust. Trust first…
Today, a couple teammates heard some hard truths about their scripts, their lack of trust, their foggy perspectives, and the acute pain of being Ghandi and simply being the change they want to see in their relationship. Great teams are defined by depth of trust. Trust takes time. Trust takes time connecting. Becoming ONE is the heart of performance because it is so hard. Few are willing to be the change. Few possess the courage to break the cycle of chronic pain. Few…
Are you?
BUILT TO LEAD 