The BTL leader is real, raw, and regulated; reactive, not so much. Remember, my friend, your amygdala does NOT reason; it only responds. Your job,leader, is to use your neo(cortex) that is and regulate yourself and then your room. Like a freakin’ magic thermostat you keep the room comfortable when the heat is on and even when it’s ice cold. The BTL leader remains calm, first. Now, this same leader can connect in a way that screams how much they care, sometimes, without saying a word. Normal leaders simply reflect back whatever temp is registered in the room- kinda like a giant, systemwide thermometer. These kinda leaders usually talk too much without saying anything the team can use. These leaders spread the opposite emotion of caring – they spread anxiety. The amygdala, remember does NOT reason; it only responds. Do you see de problemo?
You most likely think you are not what your team thinks you are.
Funny, the only way to know is to take their temperature by asking. How would your team describe you – thermostat or thermometer? When you imagine yourself asking your team such a question, are you aware of how you feel? Funny, the reason most companies employ outside parties to conduct 360 reviews of their top executives is the leaders lack the courage to ask on their own and the team lacks courage to tell the head the truth. Neither has learned you can’t trick the amygdala; only train. Both sides have a failure of nerve. They aren’t sure how to face each other and speak truth without going off. They fear the other will trigger them and they’ll say something they will later regret. They have not trained the amygdala. So, they hire an outsider or a computer to come in and compute what their craniums could calculate if they could only remain calm. Funny, huh.
How would your team describe you? Thermostat or thermometer? What’s it gonna hurt to ask? Once they open their mouths, regardless what comes out, keep asking them to tell you more. About the fifth time you ask, on average, a little truth might somehow slip out. Train your brain to expect this will hurt. Remain calm. Take three deep breaths. Do not give them your traditional triple d (defend, deny, destroy) that allows you to rationalize away their hurtful perspective. Calmly, ask this crazy teammate to tell you even a bit more if they would be so kind. Write. Play back what you heard. Thank them once you’ve got it right. Decide what you want to do with this breakfast of champions and make it a done so. Good.
Your amygdala does NOT reason; it only responds. Want a better team? Become a more consistent responder. Regulate yourself. Train the brain. Ask your teammates for help. And, don’t forget to look up. God, help me…
BUILT TO LEAD 