90…

My Mom, Marie Scott, turned 90 this past friday on May 15th. We had a glorious weekend of celebrating with her, friends, and extended family this past weekend. She is in great shape mentally, physically, and spiritually. Her contentment just kinda oozes out as you’re around her. It is worth imagining what you will be like if you are fortunate enough to make such a milestone.

Regardless of how close or how far, none of us is very good at accurately imagining our future. When I ask anyone what they most regret as they look back at their life, most speak of regret in terms of something not done. When I change the question to what they think they would most regret at 90, they speak about something they failed to do, like not spending enough time with one of their kids, their spouse, or not ever really understanding who they are.

When we think of the present we regret acts of commission and when we forecast, we almost always think we’ll regret acts of ommission.

This really doesn’t make sense, does it. Here’s the problem, our brain doesn’t keep very good track of our ommissions so as we ask it to remember what we’ve deeply regretted to date, it seeks and doesn’t find anything we failed to do, but an abundance of stuff we stepped in when we did. This explains why many of us have an abundance of FEAR when it comes to doing and not so much when it comes to NOT. We cannot forecast how we’ll feel if we hold onto our conflict with another teammate for years, but we are certain it won’t stink as much as stepping into it now. So we wait. And, we don’t even seem to regret it.

Until we imagine ourselves at 90. Funny, huh.

Today, realize you tend toward inaction out of fear. ACT. Today, come to grips that you aren’t good at forecasting pain either. However much pain you think your action will produce you are overestimating it. Embrace acute pain. It will be over before you know it. Today, choose commitment over freedom. When you tell yourself you don’t have an out, its amazing what you can get done. Remember how much stuff you get done the day before you leave for holiday.

You and I are happiest when we choose PA, acute pain, and commitment. Doesn’t make sense at first blush, but it does…