Everyday you receive hundreds of “bids” for your attention from your boss, bride, brother, teammate, neighbor, and countless others. Bids for attention vary from the mundane to the deeply meaningful and come in all kinda wrapping. Some are easy to decipher and some are sent in some sorta morse code that only the few can catch, much less make sense of.
“What do you want to do for dinner, What’s bugging you, Was that uncomfortable for you, Did you see what just happened, Want to go play some golf, Can we talk about what’s going on with Taylor, Would you stop typing and look at me, and on and on go the bids, some large some small. All are attempts to connect. All require some kinda response. Here are the big three responses.
Move away.
Most bids are met by most men with a simple turn. When most women bid for attention from their man, most men turn away. “Say nothing” is an example of moving away. Your bride pours her heart out and you say nothing for fear of saying too much. Your client brings up a tough contract bid and you put it off instead of speaking up. You delay your response. This is a move away. Bottom line, this bidder is left feeling left behind. Not good.
Move against.
Honey, how about some help over here being greeted by “not now, I’m busy and STOP bothering me, can’t you see I’m busy in here,” is turning against. This is move, not just away from your bidder, but against them. The objective is to shut em up and shut down future bids. This bidder is feeling kicked to the curb. Catastrophe a coming.
Move toward.
This is the one you want. This is the one that takes time and patience. First you have to be mindful to not miss the bid for your precious commodity, your undivided attention. Next you have to be peaceful enough to hear a bid that might rub you wrong,that might trigger an emotional reaction, and calmly move toward the bidder, anyway. The happiest couples and the most productive teams are led by real connectors that chose to move toward the bids of their team as their default. This is some kinda magic and some kinda weird too. Nobody has the time. Nobody, but those that make the time. Today, you have some bids coming your way. You will move away from most and move against some that feel like a total pain in the butt. Will you move toward a few? Will you move toward more than normal? Kairos moments are mostly created by paying attention to a bid from someone you LOVE. I am far from mastering the bidding process. I am getting better at moving toward the few. I have a long way to go.
God, help me tune in like an animal being stalked, bury my fears, and boldly ask a few to “tell me more, tell me more, tell me more.” God, help me…
BUILT TO LEAD 