Yesterday, during practice 198 with durp’s debtteamofdoers, Markie shared the difference in how she feels when working with her swim team vs. when she’s in front of her debtteamofdoers. She’s calm, cool, and collected and communicates, well, swimmingly at the pool. With the debtteamofdoers, not so much. Her emotions get the best of her in the latter and all she does is fight the urge to cry until the puddles come unabated eventually. Not good. Markie’s productive action is to write why she does swimmingly connecting wth swimmers. I want her to focus on the root “why” behind her positive performances. Once she gains clarity with what calms her in front of one audience, she can work to extrapolate this same root reminder to her other ones. She is not alone in her differing levels of comfort when connecting. Most of the world struggles connecting outside a certain comfort zone.
The root difference is oftentimes caused by some kinda fear. Most humans are more afraid connecting with peers than communicating with outsiders, even huge numbers of mostly unknowns don’t cause most to cringe. However, in front of a room full of peers – many melt. Some, meltdown. Puddles. As I’ve studied this up close and personal in my profession, the root reason most humans react differently in front of different audiences is due to the value they’ve placed on what people think. If you think your audience has more power, prominence, position, or even passion than you do, you are in for a problem. You can be the head of the system and still feel inferior in front of an audience of your own people. Funny, huh.
So, if you want to become a more consistent connector regardless the audience, practice. Practice in front of a mirror with nobody around. Study your subject. Build your competence and become a subject matter expert in your work or aim. Practice with a coach or confidant who will be hard on you. Practice. Practice. Practice. Understand that all great communicators are nervous before they go on stage. The difference between the great ones and the normal ones is the ability to use their nervous energy. You’ve got to harness the power of your nerves and turn this into an emotional edge. This takes a different kinda intelligence – this takes emotional intelligence. Durpandhisdebtteamofdoers are building some. Build some of this, friend. Good.
And, work within. Keep working within. Keep working.
Nothing calms a human like clarity from within. When I’m running practice one on one, one on a few, or one on many, I run it the same way. I know my subject matter to the point of mastery, tune in like an animal being stalked, speak from the heart, and am either Curious George or My Way IS the Highway – never mixed. You see, my strong CORE enables me to care, but not too much. Here’s why. Don’t miss this. This could be huge. Regardless the size, shape, or city where I’m in front of an audience, they are all the same to me. My belief guides me. I believe my audience is always one. As Os Guinness expressed more eloquently than I ever could, “I live before the audience of ONE – before others I have nothing to gain, nothing to lose, nothing to prove.”
What audience are you afraid of, friend? Why?
What beliefs bring you energy, friend?
Good…
BUILT TO LEAD 