Myles from normal…

Today, during an early am practice with FD, I reminded him he has what it takes. He, like so many I see each and every day, is letting his fear speed him up. Fear speeds us up, slows us down, projects us into the future, and leaves us languishing in our past. Leaders are believers and none of us possess perfect belief either. So, today, I’m posting a piece I’ve been putting off since Myles had a moment at the NCAA wrestling championship. Myles is the 174 lb. national champion and he’s the same Myles who was filled with fear and didn’t even want to get on the mat at the start of this past season. His story is FM, baby. I’m not the one to tell it, he is. Only he knows the whole story. However, here’s a tiny taste of a tidbit from a chapter I had a front row seat to. Here’s an eyewitness account from FD. I made him write me following this mornings practice. Here it is. This could be huge…

“At my (FD) first practice with the OSU grapplers, you (Chet) started off by asking what these guys saw at the Big Ten Tourney.  They shared their observations… something teams don’t normally do in this type of setting… building trust. You put the room into groups, showed a clip from Invictus and asked us to take a second to write what we saw. Here’s what I wrote:

— I saw a leader (mandela) looking for a way to win, not the easy way, not just a call.
— I saw another leader (captain) reflecting on core of the leader (mandela) and internalizing it
— I saw another leader determined to not let sabotage into the system

You then asked us to speak and listen. It’s always awkward for me as the outsider to be thrown into a group like this, this practice was no exception.  There were 4 grapplers and me.  The first two guys hadn’t seen the movie and didn’t see much (their words).  Then Myles shared his observation, I don’t really remember the specifics but I do remember he shared something.  And the last grappler was similar to the first two. I shared my writing and a little bit of excitement for the movie because I know how the story goes.  This kick started the conversation within our group.  I asked if anyone wrestled in the conference tourney.  Myles rose his hand, I asked him how he did and some humble insights came out.  He told me he lost but not because the other guy was better but because he psyched himself out.  He said he didn’t wrestle the way he knows how, he was tentative and cautious. I could see his internal strength and weakness all in one moment.  Here is a young athlete admitting in front of his teammates that he psyched himself out, that he was “mentally weak” in the moment it mattered most.  And yet the strength, courage and insight it takes to speak this truth flooded me with inspiration.

Right when it was getting good, Chet brought us all back together to share the melody line.  Again, what I heard were things you just don’t normally hear from your teammates.  Open, honest, transparent conversation about the mental battle within, the struggle to believe, in yourself.  As a former professional athlete, I was envious that they were being given this gift.  I was so enamored with these guys I had just met, I couldn’t contain myself from shouting O-H- at the end of our practice. I left practice hoping this team would succeed.  Hoping that they would take to heart what was discussed in an unassuming, crowded, smelly “sitting” room.  I truly wanted to believe this type of mental practice made a difference.

This morning I got the confirmation that it did in fact make one “L” of a difference.  Myles beat the kid he lost to in the conference tournament to become the national champion.  So many emotions rushed through me but the lesson will stick with me for much longer. Leaders are believers.  The time to do that is now.  I’ve got to get super clear on my belief’s so that in my moment I believe.  F*** fear, optimism is the ONE I want because in the end it all comes down to you and your love of it, not fear of it. Thank you Myles for leading the way, for going further than I have gone myself.  I hung your picture by my desk as a reminder to do the real hard work, physically AND mentally.  Congratulations!”

Here’s the funny truth. FD is just like Myles. He too is far from normal. He’s been elite before and will be again. He’s just been listening to the wrong stories and hanging with toxic naysayers instead of strong, truth tellers. He, just like Myles, is coming clean and letting the fear out by calling it out. Now, he’s got to get back on the mat and keep working, keep working, keep working. I’m going to be his Kyle, Tervel, Ross, and Grappy all wrapped in one. I’m going to make him do what he can. Good. You too have fear. Get it out. Name it. Get after it with a bit more love. Fall in love staying in position when adversity strikers. Enjoy the surprise that comes when you view adversity as adventure. Adversity as adventure. I like that name change, oh yeah.

FD & Myles are miles from normal – Myles from normal. You are too. Good…