Today, and most everyday, I am trying to better understand why we tell our sons and daughters such lies as they try to make sense of this life. The truth is that men are not the stronger ones. There’s no doubt in my mind that we clearly are the weaker sex mentally, spiritually, and relationally.
My hope is to one day gain enough strength in my CORE to be considered my brides equal. For now, I’ve got some building to do. For starters, I’ve got to stop whining so much. The minute my work appears headed the wrong direction, or I’m not recognized as the titan of industry, or God help us all, sense that my identity is being called into question by some idiot, Miss has to hear all about it ad infinitum. Damn straight, come on man, I’m in some real pain here. However, when her life’s work leaves without so much as saying goodbye and thanks for giving your life for me, I can hardly bear hearing her out. I don’t know what to do with her feelings, much less my own. So, instead of opening up and absorbing, I tend to try to calm her and others like her – down. Not good.
Mom’s like Miss (and Mom’s like mine) give until there’s nothing left, and then they’re mostly left behind and forgotten as their son’s and daughters go off to who knows what and take up residence who knows where. Moms like Miss, give everything to those they love and then get the satisfaction of knowing that their good work, when they’ve really done it up right, is going, going, and soon GONE. In fact, I left home in 1977 after graduating high school and never returned except to visit. My Moms love never faltered even though my life got busy and all her good work got taken for granted. Somehow my Mom kept going. Miss too.
Somehow Mom’s are wired to protect their young at all cost, through whatever problem, whatever prejudice, and whatever else might come their way. AND, somehow these same Mom’s are wired to LOVE them as these young ones go their own way. Talk about some real strength. Talk about some real pain. Talk about your identity taking a real hit. As Miss reminded me yesterday, “Imagine BTL was taken from you after all you’ve poured into it these past fourteen years. Imagine it was gone. How would you feel.” Her eyes were honest, as they always are, and yet I saw something she rarely lets me see – I saw a glimpse of inner pain. Mom’s like mine and like my Miss, are tougher than me. They have lots of acute pain and somehow don’t let it get in the way of giving care to their cubs.
I don’t know much about women but I do know real strength when I see it. Thanks Greek/Comanche for putting up with my weakness. AND, all you Mothers out there, thanks for modeling the way forward for your men, your children, and anyone in your world that is giving you the gift of their attention. Thanks Mom’s, and…
God, help me.