The more I study our plight and specifically the circumstances that surround my clients, I’ve stumbled onto a few learnings that might be worth sharing. I believe human desire has two roots that branch out deep and wide. We want to belong and become. Let me unpack a bit. We all desire to know who we are. We want to see ourselves for who we are and know we’re unique, autonomous, on the road to mastery, with a sense of purpose and place in this world that is ours. We want to know our identity. We want to know our secret name, as Revelations reveals and Kary writes about. We want to become. We want to become a lone wolf, if you will.
And, we all want to belong. We want to be understood by another and fully accepted. In other words we want to know who we are and achieve autonomy. And, at the same time be one with another, belong to a team, belong in a family, belong to a neighborhood, belong to a club, and on and on and on it goes. We want to belong. We want to belong to a pack where we sense we’re becoming all one.
Here’s the crazy part to this puzzle. We can’t force our sense of belonging. We can’t make someone want to be with us, join our team, treat us as family, be neighborly, invite us into their club, and understand and accept us for who we are. We can, however, give this gift of belonging to another. We can let another human know that they can count on us. We can invite people into relationship and give freely to meet their needs. We are free to give this gift. We can initiate. We cannot control anothers response.
And, we can discover our passions, purposes, and begin working like a banshee toward mastering our crafts. We can become a lone, autonomous one. We can initiate becoming all one with another and even with a pack of people. We can initiate. This is 100% under our control. Know this, friend. Leaders initiate. Leaders initiate and develop the discipline of not keeping score how others do or do not respond. Leaders understand that they do not get better focusing on stuff they can’t control – only bitter. Leaders initiate and let it go.
How much time/energy are you focused on what you can control – your sense of becoming vs what you can’t control – your sense of belonging? Focus on controllable efforts, friend. Focus on becoming. Give the gift of belonging to another. You’ll find where you fit along the way. Focus on initiating. Initiate some PA (productive action) toward becoming. Initiate a move toward mastery. Initiate a move to becoming a lone. Initiate a move toward someone you want in your pack. Initiate a move to becoming all one. Don’t wait or hesitate, friend.
Initiate. Belong and become. A lone and all one. Who knew?