All teams are laced with tension. Conflict is here to stay, regardless how harmonious you and yours have become. Fact. So, friend, embrace this reality and stop avoiding the difficult conversation with whomever has you sideways.
Most conflict is simply a conversation to be had.
Stop having side bar convo’s with comfortable colleagues. Gossip is conversation without courage. I mean come on man, anybody can talk trash about the man, only a few, however, talk truth with the man. Build this muscle. Be the change you want to see in your passive aggressive place of employ. Be the change. Talk to the woman with whom you have tension. Ask ‘em how you get back to straight. Own your stuff and don’t make them own theirs. Stay away from why questions like they’re the plague – cause they are. Do not ask them why they did this or that unless you have all day to listen to their piece. Which, btw, rarely leads to your peace.
Instead, talk with them. Talking is speaking and listening, remember. Become a master at asking simple how and what questions that signal you want to work together to repair what once was or what could become. Nothing reduces tension between two teammates like an honest, heartfelt desire to come clean and move toward another.
Initiate. Move toward. Start simple and slow. Listen with an understanding ear. Own your piece with no worries if they own theirs. Peace with another, remember, always begins with peace within. Most conflict is a conversation to be had. Follow the BTL framework and go have one. Together we transform as we move toward the tension. Together we transform as we own our piece. Together we transform as we make peace. Together we transform as soon as I initiate. Be the change, friend. Be the change.
Live hard. Love harder (Thanks, Teeks)…