Recently a client of mine was having a hard time seeing her own progress and was getting down on self. She’s a stud – a high-flying, kick-ass go-getter, with a tendency to focus on the next peak and how far she still has to climb.
During practice she pointed out all the things she still hasn’t worked on, all the progress yet to be made. I spent a few minutes reminding her of some of the GIANT steps she’s taken in alignment with her CORE. Pointing out the truth of her journey thus far, from the perspective of her builder. Then I shut up and reminded myself of a truth. The truth is we listen to our own voice more than any other, and its really not even close. My voice will never be louder than hers.
So instead, I had her write out her own scorecard. The ways SHE wants to measure her progress. She killed it. Now when her internal voice pipes up, she can talk back to it with her own truth instead of borrowing truth from another.
As a bonus, she’s also going to start some gratitude journaling. I reminded her that gratitude journaling isn’t bullshit fairy dust that makes everything hunky dory. It’s simply training the brain to recognize the good, see the progress, and get hungry for more.
Both of these productive actions are centered around getting the brain to focus on what we’re doing well and want to continue to do. If you keep focusing on the negatives, the brain instinctively wants to push back, give up, get down on self. Instead, make a choice to focus on the things that matter to you on the journey, the ways you see progress, the steps you’re taking. Do that and the brain gets hungry to seek out more of it along the way.
We have highs and lows on every journey. Which do you want to remember? Which do you want to have fuel you? Fear, remember, tires and drains us. Love sustains us. I’m in this for the long haul, so I choose to focus on more love.