Navy SEALS and Army Green Berets are among the toughest sons of guns on the planet. They train for, chase down and absolutely thrive in a world of danger, chaos and stress the rest of us can barely fathom, no matter how many movies we watch or books we read. But for all their training, all their experience, all their mental strength and physical badassness as individuals, they literally survive by the deeply held belief that two is one and one is none.
While most of us will never come anywhere close to facing the physical demands and life-threatening danger of a special forces officer, we will all face, at one time or another, unwelcome challenges in our everyday lives which bring stress and emotional discomfort that can be just as real. Knowing this, we would do well to heed their lesson — two is one and one is none. At BTL, we do.
Together we transform. The BTL Band believes this so strongly that it’s stated right up front, next to our name. Together we transform. We believe this so strongly that it’s woven throughout every conversation we have, be it with an individual client, a team in practice, a fellow Builder, a Band of Builders, a brother, sister, parent, child, friend, partner or spouse. Together we transform. We believe this so strongly because, like the SEALS and Green Berets, we know that we are always better together. No matter how strong you think you are; no matter how well-built you might actually be, iron always sharpens iron.
So, if in fact two is one and one is none, if it’s true that together we transform, and if iron really does sharpen iron, we would be fools not to cherish, protect and nurture the relationships with those on whom we so deeply depend.
Which brings me, at long last, to today’s BBTL book entry, Four healers… In it, Chet shares the BTL approach to healing a hurting relationship. I’ll do my best to capture the melody line of each.
- Tough conversations are best delivered from tender hearts. When talking about anything tough, remember to start soft.
- Hear the yearning, not the whining. Rather than going triple-d (defend, deny and destroy), turn toward and invite them to, “tell me more.” Listen.
- Repair. All relationships are built by broken people. Forgive. Restore. Repair.
- Accept influence. I will echo Chet LOUDLY on this one, “This is the hardest one for me…” But nothing says, “I love you,” Chet continues, more than letting another influence you. Amen!
We need each other. We were NOT made to go it alone or be alone. A lone to All ONE — one L of a difference. And the L is love. Just brilliant, Gu!
Remember — two is one and one is none; together we transform; iron sharpens iron. So, cherish your relationships. Protect, nurture and, when needed, heal them.
Today, by the way, is the first day in the next chapter of the BBTL book. It’s title…Humility. You see, we simply cannot fully conceive of the value of others until we first believe that we alone, even at our best, can be made even better by the help of another. And that, my friend, takes a heaping helping of humility.
BUILT TO LEAD 