Sick…

Been a sick week in the literal sense of the word. Got the bug sometime on last Sunday in the wee hours as noticed a slight tickle in my throat. Thought no bigee, I’d muscle through. Worked KC all day. Traveled through STL and made it home late that Monday night. Felt energy leaving the system as I unwound at home around midnight. Cancelled everything Tuesday. Slept. Miss cared. Took great care of me.

Wednesday, more of the same.

Jordan was here with his golfing buds. No dinner that night, no golf on Thursday. Slept. Energy still not returning. Called doc. His diagnosis? Covid (seems all flu is covid now, another long blog there just not now). Seeing a ton of it, he said. Nothing to do since I had waited too long, just wait it out a few more days. Said I wasn’t contagious at this point. Go play when you feel like it. Listen to your body.

So, what did I do? I played golf the next day. Slowly. Went home after hanging with the boys for a minute. Bed. Slept. Sore throat tingles in the night returned. No golf the next day with Jordan. Walked out to greet them. Said our goodbyes. Watched them play a few. Mainly marveled at my son. Watched him fight through his hip pains and be there for his friends. Watched him make some great pars. Don’t remember watching his misses. You see, your son, and his misses are not your focus. You see his greatness. You see his potential. You see his resemblance. You see him for who he can be. You see him as part of you, because he is. And, suddenly it hit me squarely between the eyes. How sick is this, I thought to myself.

This is exactly how Jesus sees us.

He sees through His pain. We’re an extension of His. He wants the best for us because He knows what’s it like to struggle, be rejected in your own home town, be betrayed by brothers, and keep loving perfectly. Jesus modeled the way; me, only on occasion (imperfectly) and not nearly often enough. Damn.

So, Jordan is heading home to Taylor and Daisy today. Having some early eggs as I tickle the ivories, getting it out of my head so making sense of this painful week is possible. Never understood why life is so filled with sick moments. But I do believe this. It aint random. It aint without meaning and purpose. You see, kairos moments (google it) are ours to make from the messes and magnificent. I’m choosing to make some freakin’ magic of what felt like a lost week (including a lost, long time client). Maybe, just maybe, in the pain of this past week there are magnificent mustard seeds growing beneath the surface. Actually, I know there are. I’ve just got to make the choice to water the right thoughts, right behaviors, and continue to believe in a righteous Savior who promises to (one day) put everything to right.

My energy is returning. Next week filled with hope and potential. Surrounded by a loving Miss (I don’t deserve) and three great sons and one great daughter. Three great grandbabies too. One great mom and so many more family and friends who care for my sorriness. Oh my.

Hope this long stream of vomit, landed with some. God bless you all and may He turn your sick moments into “sick” kairos ones. And, never forget His promise to you and me – Matthew 11:28 – “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Live hard. Love harder. Sick, huh…