Amanda asked a great question with her comment on the post titled, deep change. She asked why is it so easy for leaders to pass policy and so hard for them to pause as they pass…
Her, that is.
Great question, Amanda. AND, thanks for asking. Here’s my take.
Transformational leaders have the ability to see their way forward and, at the same time, imagine what it’s like to be completely in the dark. In other words, they are able to think strategically and empathetically at the same time. This is the quintessential BUILT TO LEAD Leader. Very cool and extremely rare.
Most CEO’s have made their way to the top by building mastery in their left hemisphere. They have risen up the ranks because of their strategic thinking and, oftentimes, in spite of their lack of empathy.
The reason that so few leaders pause as they pass by your cube is because they’ve not “felt” it was necessary to their success. Sad but true. These leaders will never sustain a team and their high performance. They just won’t. Nobody can see their way forward all of the time. We all need help from those around us. The typical left brain leader will not get much.
Help, that is.
Amanda, keep working on discovering what gives you energy. Keep a “love to” log and start investing more and more of your time in the places and around the people that make you smile. Have some patience. You will find work that will bring you money and, more importantly, meaning. You will.
Finding a leader that has built both sides of their brain, may take a little longer.
Hey CEO’s are you getting this?
Are you becoming the kind of leader that Amanda would follow with her committed best?
Tell me more, my friend.
Tell me more…
BUILT TO LEAD 
In Judith Bardwick’s “One Foot Out the Door”, she nicely summarizes the 3 things we humans want most in the workplace:
1. To be known
2. To have work that matters
3. To be able to measure it
Sounds easy & simple, but there are a couple common barriers. In a culture of FEAR, we humans lay low, don’t take the risk that might get us fired if we screw it up, and avoid accountability.
And as Gottman so clearly outlines, the other barrier is a culture of OBLIVIOUSNESS where leaders IGNORE our team’s bids for a human connection. When we humans are ignored, we shut down and disengage. We stop believing and will soon be-leaving.
That said, when I found myself just three years ago in your shoes, Amanda, I also discovered an unexpected gap that required some deeper work in my core. As I asked myself (and especially as my bride asked me) WHY did being overlooked bother me so much, I began to realize I had become a slave & a victim to how a couple key authority figures viewed me. In reading Dr. Les Carter’s The Anger Trap, page 74 hit me between the eyes. “In large measure, emotional dependency operates on a subconscious level. By that I mean, most people do not sit on the side of the bed thinking, ‘OK who am I going to hand my emotional stability to today?’ We do not consciously plan to become dependent upon others, but it happens whether we are aware of it or not. People…help themselves immensely if they learn to become conscious of the presence of dependency so they can make adjustments in their thoughts and behaviors. Primarily they need to adjust their core beliefs about personal worth.”
Ouch. THANK you Dr. Carter for showing me the HIGHWAY out of victimhood back to freedom.
To become ONE, a culture of FEAR must be replaced with trust, and a culture of OBLIVIOUSNESS must be transformed into the connectedness of mustangs. The good news is anyone who does the real hard work to build their core can ‘be the change’ they want to see in their system. It takes a strong core to be a ‘giver’, even when nothing may be coming back. And that’s exactly what a catalyst is for — to infect the surrounding culture with something FREAKIN’ AWESOME.