Belong and become…

Many of my clients are owners of their own business, and like me, they oftentimes refer to their company as their “baby.”  Most, I assume, use this phrase to denote their sense of love, admiration, and identity with their creation.  These leaders are not just running a company, they are nurturing and developing their office staff as if they are offspring.  Oftentimes these office workers are offspring.  Funny, huh.

Here’s a very common observation from this work.  Here it is.  Do NOT miss this.  This could be HUGE.

Many a parent can’t cut the cord.

Many a parent overly identify with their offspring.  Many a parent treat the “emerging adults” as if they were teenagers.  Many a parent treat their teens as if they were ten.  Many a parent treat their ten year olds as if they were toddlers.  Many a parent value risk aversion over the opportunity for real growth.  We just do. Afterall, we’re talking about our babies.

The greatest leaders throughout history have been able to master a few things consistently.  Here’s one.  Great leaders create a sense, among their followers, of both community and autonomy.  We are wired to belong AND become. The same can be said for the most influential of parents.

All humans want to belong to someone, to fit in somewhere, to be a part of something bigger than themselves, and, paradoxically, to become their own man/woman.  We deeply desire both.  Few leaders/parents are strong enough in their CORE to give what’s not been passed from their parents.  Sad, but true.  AND, this can start to change, with YOU.

Remember, parents, your greatest creation will always be your children.

No company will test your patience and love as much as these will.  No company will frustrate and worry you as much as these will.  No company will bring you more joy and blessedness than these will.  No company will test your leadership ability as much as these will.

AND no challenge will be more rewarding than living in the chaos with your creations and giving someone the gift of belonging while getting out of the way of their becoming.

God, help me become such a human.

God, help me.