Miss checked back in to Riverside Hospital late last night. It was a long, laborious night for her. Pain medicine every two hours offered little relief. The stinking boulder that the Doctor blasted on last Tuesday has refused to cooperate. My Miss is in acute pain, not of her choosing. My words of encouragement meant little; being there was pretty much all I had to give. Felt fairly worthless.
As I’m writing this rant she is under general anesthesia for the second time in one week. We are hoping for a better result, however, the outcome of this procedure is completely out of our control. I’m not certain how she feels but I’m overwhelmed with a sense of helplessness and I don’t like it.
I’m learning to train my brain to remain optimistic when it encounters adversity and I’ve got a long way to go. First I acknowledge the adversity and decide how I want to react. I am allowing myself to feel the full loss of control that I never really had. This has the effect of deepening my oh so shallow faith. Once I’ve gained clarity of my beliefs around said adversity, I can quickly process the consequences without tumbling out of control into catastrophizing. Adversity, belief, consequence. The ABC’s of Learned Optimism according to Dr. Seligman. The ABC’s are no Pollyanna pill; they are brain changing good kinda disciplines. Thank you doctor.
My mind is changed even though the events are not. So, if you don’t mind, send a prayer up for Miss and for her stone. Pray that Miss will be restored and boulder broken. I feel better just asking. I’m hoping Miss does too…
BUILT TO LEAD 
Miss praying for the boulder to be blasted to smitherines and you can once again be comfortable in your own skin! xo the saylors