Regret, repent, repair…

No regrets is NOT the one you want and “no regrets” is a foundational belief of so many among us. In Christian Smith’s worthwhile read, Lost in Transition he identifies “no regrets” as a bolt on belief for many of our young adults. This, in my opinion, is cause for concern and correction. Here’ why.

When one lives without regret where is the impetus to right a wrong? If you allow yourself to feel no regret what would prompt you to repair? You and I are flawed, aren’t we? If we do not regret we must feel justified. If our behaviors are always just, we must see ourselves as righteous. If we think of ourselves as righteous and others as problems are we thinking rationally or simply rationalizing. Living without regret is self deception, isn’t it?

No regrets leads to no need for repair. No repair leads to a sense of self righteousness even though we know we’re sideways more than straight. Real regret, on the other hand, is the gateway to real relationship. When I regret how I’ve treated another, I’m no longer self absorbed. Instead, I’m actually imagining what it must have felt like in another’s shoe. I’m not seeing simply an object in my path, but instead another person.

Real regret leads to real repentance. Real repentance leads to real repair. Real repair leads to real relationship. Real relationship leads to real results. Real results attracts results oriented people toward you. The stronger people you attract the stronger you become.

STOP pretending your perfect and other people are problems. Other people are people – just like you and I. BTL leaders understand this and lead according. BTL leaders, remember, are far from perfect. BTL leaders are masters in repair. Real repair leads to better results. Real repair, however, begins with regret. Funny, huh….

Regret. Repent. Repair. Real results. Who knew regret could make us more. FM, baby. FM.