Out of & in control…

Today, one of my four year projects was promoted. He didn’t receive a new positon or graduate with another certificate or diploma. We meet every week in the same place and in the same seats. However, his Sunday writing and his poignant Thursday addition led me to switch seats. Here’s a modified version of our practice notes to protect his identity. Enjoy…

Today you are sitting in the coach seat. You have been promoted. You are out of control, I told you. Out of my control, out of others control, I clarified and my smile of satisfaction connected with yours. You told me that is kinda funny. You said simply, “I’ve never felt more in control.” I reminded you it was a breakthrough moment. You thought it was truth in love. We’re both right. I wanted to esteem you like you’ve never been esteemed by me before. I want you to understand how happy I am for you this morning. You are becoming a CEO whether you ever receive the formal promotion. You told me “it’s only taken 4 years.” I corrected you. I wanted you to savor this moment. I told you it’s taken your entire lifetime to promote you. You’ve been looking around a long time, friend.  I asked you to replay the hard convo with your leader. It was FM, baby. You led your leader. You made him do what he can. All the BTL lessons we’ve been banging around for 4 years were encapsulated in one searing moment.

Now, our work to make you into a master begins. This is where the fun begins. You cannot go back into the bottle, my friend. Funny, isn’t it, how we’re using your words from only one practice ago to represent how far you’ve come. FM, baby. I asked you a few more questions about your next practice with your peers and what outcomes you’re after. You are like a living example of Jim Collins flywheel concept from Good to Great as you gain momentum with every word this morning. What a blessing to be able to behold, I’m thinking to myself. What a gift we’re exchanging. Good.

We closed practice, however, with a sobering reminder. No good growth will go unpunished, I paraphrased from words long ago. Prepare for more resistance. I coached you to not be surprised by the resistance to your growth. Don’t go looking for it. Prepare for it to find you. I told you the story about forgiveness per C.S. Lewis – forgiveness is a great idea, until there is something to forgive. Transitioning power is a great thought until you actually start to grab the reins. Expect resistance from above and around. You are ready to stand.

Note to self – Out of control. Out of others control. In control. One, distinct, deeply connected. Real community requires you gain more control and give away more too. What a great, transformational week of working on getting better at both. Thanks to my family, friends, and clients for allowing me to continue to embrace the uncomfortable aim of this work. Good…

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