Choose your Feelings…

…by choosing your Worldview.

Shadowing Toto at practice 190-something last week, I was reminded of this paradox. 

This practice was on Building Your Emotional Intelligence in the 12 Essentials playbook.   After doing some reading, the team did some writing on their emotional triggers, how they are affected by them, and the subsequent effect on performance.

Feelings are involuntary emotions which arise when triggered by people, situations, circumstances, memories, etc.    When feelings control you or shut you down, your performance will be adversely affected.   So will your relationships.   And so will your joy in work and life.

The paradox is you can voluntarily influence your involuntary feelings by building a strong core.  The training begins with building a clearer Worldview, and choosing carefully – and wisely – what you believe.  Over time this will produce a trained response more often and more quickly, and a triggered response less often and for less duration.   This does not mean a pain-free existence, but it will mean more good pain and less bad pain.   Good pain results from daring to love widely — with deep humility, vulnerability, and courage.   Bad pain results from daring to love at all — out of deep pride, self-protection, and fear.    Pain is inevitable – misery is a choice.

At BUILT TO LEAD, we believe the healthiest leaders, teams & individuals have a Core-Centered, Self-Controlling Worldview.    We believe the unhealthiest leaders, teams, and individuals have a Self-Centered, Others-Controlling Worldview.    The former is the road to freedom, love & peace — a life filled with many options and all the control you need — the Self-Control to choose your response.   The latter is the road to slavery, fear & chronic anxiety — a life limited to only a couple options, do-or-die, which is dependent on having total control, which you never have.   The former is the road to Thriving.   The latter is a road which leads to either Victimhood or Survivorhood.   

Which road are you on?  You choose.   Your choices have consequence.   Choose wisely, and do the real, hard work to build a Core-Centered, Self-Controlling Worldview.