Today, on the way home from a tough and tender team practice that left me feeling more down than up, clarity came to another client of mine. You see, I sensed yesterday’s practice with one of my favorites had left him feeling overwhelmed. So, I called him to confirm, get curious, challenge, and, finally, to bring clarity.
My sense was correct. Said client was overwhelmed.
Damn, I wish I were wrong more often. Instead of worrying about it, however, I stepped into the convo to help my client get to the root of his emotions. My client, you see, runs too much according to his emotions and too little in loving step with his disciplines. So, we talked – not for long, either. I asked some curious and then challenging questions. He responded truthfully and I could sense was almost relieved by me asking. After confirming what I sensed by starting curious, I challenged him to be more disciplined in baby stepping into what he wants. Remember, we rarely get what we want simply because we’re clear that we want it. We get, most often, what we’re willing to work for wholeheartedly. My client wants to become an elite president but gets overwhelmed with the size and scope of the undertaking. So, instead of finishing one or two initiatives each day that move him toward opus, he finishes a couple e z p z tasks that satisfy in the moment but leave him empty and feeling further behind by week’s end.
The recipe for staying unstuck and staying the course toward any lofty aim, is to stick to it. Easier said than done. The best way to stick to anything large is to break it down into baby steps. The more daily you can make these baby step, disciplines the more likely you are to make real progress over the years instead of getting overwhelmed and quitting when you don’t feel like it’s worth it. You don’t achieve lofty aims instantly. You have to delay gratification and stick to disciplines, disciplines you’ve learned to love. Today, as my client played back what he heard, I could tell he got the message. His voice sounded suddenly more convicted, confident, and encouraged. Clarity arrived through a hard convo we had vs. avoided. You see, most conflict isn’t what you think it is.
Most conflict is simply a conversation to be had…