Today, during a great practice with a relatively new client, we found the heart of his problem – he’s angry. He holds lots of folks around him in contempt and thought he was justified in doing so. He made the mistake of telling me Jesus did the same, way back in the day. Jesus did not. Jesus loved people, even the Pharisees who killed him. Jesus led with love. All the leaders who’ve put a positive dent in the universe, led with love. You, friend, will not be the first exception. Transformational leaders lead with love. They love their work, team, and life. They make those around them feel more not less in their presence. Anger is the enemy. Contempt and disgust are anger on steroids. Start spewing anger and watch people turn, not toward, but away.
Angry young men slowly morph into angrier old men. Angry leaders may carry the day, just not much more. Anger wears us out and eventually winds us down. You can only “tune up” folks for so long before they tune you out, and even worse, turn you out. High performers don’t last long under angry leaders. Overarching your anger trap, however, is the habit to avoid. This one plagues the nobel mind. What is the most deadliest habit of all, you ask?
Proud people simply justify living in spin city and are “angry as hell, and have every right.” Pride is like a thick plaque that blocks any hope of seeing the truth. Proud people are prone to protect their position and destroy the argument. Proud people don’t see the lie and haven’t the need to bridle their anger. Proud people look down on other people, oftentimes, the very teammates trying to help them along.
Humble leaders, however, see their integrity gaps and work to close them. Humble leaders understand their “triggers” and work to defuse them. They understand that emotions are powerful and work to make theirs positive. They regulate their emotions and allow you to express yours. Talk about strength. They model the way, embrace pain and suffering, and embody truth in LOVE. They see their plaque and get busy breaking it up. These leaders engage a few that are aligned, energized, and whole heartedly sold out toward the aim. Momentum is underway. Who knew it was this simple and this hard.
God, help me see my pride. God help me release my anger. God, help me trust you to put wrongs to right.
God, help me bathe in truth in LOVE.
God, help me.