Don’t know how you do it…

A client recently told me about some struggles at home. He’s not getting what he’s giving, or so he thinks. I listened and waited patiently for him to catch his breath. He’s sideways, you know. She doesn’t respect him. Never fills his cup. And, she seems unable to understand what it’s like to be a titan of industry and just want to come home and be served after a long day of slaying giants. Damn it…

I asked him to tell me more. He did. Told me a story about his bride complaining to him about this, that, and the other thing. His response? Told her he deals with this everyfreakin’day. All he does is solve these type problems. Fixed her. Or so he thought.

STOPed him in his tracks. Used a couple choice words for emphasis and then gave him a sure fire way forward. Do not fix your bride. Never. Ever. She doesn’t need your help. She needs your heart…

Accept her. Understand her. Love her. Be with her. Never freakin’ fix her. She aint broken. 

Instead, next time she tells you about her rough day with the little ones, or her idiot boss, or unreasonable clients, just listen to her. Ask her to tell you more. Listen and lean in. When the time is right, look her in the eyes. Tell her something like, “That sucks! Or, “I don’t know how you do it.” Then STFU (Shut the F#$ up). Listen. She will begin to feel heard. She will think you’re not such a dumbASS after all. She will see you as more of a HUman and less THEman. Trust this process. 

Remember, we love to stick it to THEman. We stick with the HUman. God, help me remember this truth. God, help me hear the yearning not the whining. God, help me.

Live hard. Love ❤️ harder…