Last night, in practice 32 with a team of transparent grapplers, Aaron said he was still not clear on what he’s measured by – what matters. Tervel offered what the world recognizes and then declared what we, as a team, value. The world tells you that winning, how many followers you have, and how many accolades you accumulate, is what matters. Of course, we all want to win. The things we believe matter, however, are things you can control. For instance – attitude, effort, technical proficiency, progress. These are things you can take home with you. “The points stay in the gym,” Tervel stated as he started to warm up. “If you beat a guy in the practice it stays there. If you beat a guy in a match, it stays there. If you win nationals, it stays there.” You could hear a pin drop as a team of grapplers let what they were hearing into their heads. I asked Aaron what he heard. He was having a hard time letting these thoughts in. I’m certain he was not alone. In fact, that thought was one of the most searing from last night – we all kinda struggle with the same things. Funny, huh.
Here’s the truth about what matters. Your attitude, effort, technical proficiency, and progress are all within your control. Keep working on what really matters, friend – what is within your control. Stay curious and grow a bit more fearless. Do not hesitate to ask your teammates for help. And, keep an eye out for teammates too timid to ask for themselves. Remember, the SEAL that does not ring the bell is the SEAL that is trained on helping another get through the current iteration. Be one of those kinda teammates.
We ended practice 32 with me reminding the team of the two deepest desires inside us humans. We all want to belong and become. We are all wired to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. We want to belong to some band, clan, tribe, and form a community of caring. We are wired to belong. And, we all want to stand on our own – we want to become. We desire to become our own man/woman, to mature, to know we have what it takes, and can make it out in the real world. We are wired to become. These deep desires are in some kinda constant state of conflict as we form our identity both with others and with ourselves.
Focus on what you can control. Become the original you already are. Look around you. You belong where you are with those in your midst. Keep working on what you control. The points stay in the gym. Your character, you carry with you. Build here. Build within. Work on your attitude, effort, and mastering your craft. Keep working. Your character you carry with you. Your character is what matters. Good…