The work world is full of people who have learned to be “helpless.” They don’t come up to me during BTL team practice with this revelation, in fact they rarely acknowledge this is where they’ve taken up residence. Most don’t see it, at least not early on. They don’t like it when I tell them their neighborhood has a name…
None of us wants to admit to ourselves or to others that victimhood is where we live. However, the vast majority of humans are obedient to authority, not out of respect or alignment, but simply out of fear. The longer we work/live in fear of those in power over us, the more powerless we become. The slippery slope toward victimhood? Yup, you’re on it. If you want to buy a one way ticket out of this unsavory neighborhood, here’s a four stepper that just might help. Follow this recipe forever, not for a couple days, not when you can’t take it anymore, and not when you’ve decided to finally quit. Follow this recipe forever and start now, friend.
1. Tell your leader exactly what you want. I suggest a minimum of your big three wants and no more than five. Put it in writing. Ccd (clear, concise, direct).
2. Ask your leader exactly what he/she wants from you. Ask them to put it in writing. Ask them question until you are crystal clear what they expect from you.
3. Steps one and two will bubble up conflict. Talk about why each “want” is important to performance. Make sure that each of you walk out understanding why your wants will improve your performance. Fight to improve performance and not to prove your point. Period.
4. Allow your leader to influence you as long as you believe his/her “want” will improve performance. Do not concede because of their position. The minute you start down that slippery slope, you will find getting back to level ground nearly impossible. Stand for performance.
5. Catch your leader doing something right and tell him/her. Don’t make the mistake of only seeing them as THE man. When we see the leader this way we tend to want to stick it to them. See them as the HUman. If they truly are humane they will more than return the volley.
6. If the leader doesn’t reciprocate. ACT. Don’t continue to allow your leader to “power over” you and control you to suit their fancy, to do what they won’t, or for any reason beyond improving performance. Any leader that demands action from you that makes no sense, violates your CORE, and doesn’t build sustainable performance does not deserve your time. Don’t sell out or settle out of fear.
Remember, when someone stops believing, someone will soon be leaving.
This is managing your manger 101. All it takes is a strong CORE. You got one? Good. Get to work, friend. Perform. Remember, every leader listens to the high performer much more than the mediocre one. Good…