Recently, during a difficult one on one practice, I stumbled onto something that may be useful. Listening to my client describe a relationship that was not working, suddenly this thought flew into my consciousness. He must decide to unite or untie. He’s been loosely coupled and the relationship is wobbling. He looked drained. Loose ends we’re getting frayed. He had chosen to wobble instead of the acute pain to align. Not good. We see this wobble every week in BTL. It’s easy to justify wobbling and accept this is simply the way of the world, because it is. We are not here to promote the easy way. Excellence is not built by accepting loose coupling or lowering standards. Fact.
Unite or untie, friend.
Problems, especially relational ones, do not get better with age. Problems, kinda like an open bottle of wine, don’t age well – they get worse. A lot worse. Unite or untie. Choosing to remain loosely coupled is a choice, it’s just rarely a good one. Unite is centered by “it” – intentional transformation. Untie is centered with “ti” – terminate intentionally. Leaders must be in the middle of both. Leaders intentionally transform with the few and leaders intentionally terminate the toxic and the ones unable to meet performance bars. Leaders cannot be all one with everyone, remember. Leaders, if they’re gonna build something special, something elite, something united, are gonna have to untie from others along the way. Sometimes leaders have to untie from the very people that brought them to the dance. Hard. Fact.
Unite or untie. My client has some hard decidres in his future. You, leader, do as well. It is time to unite and untie. You need wisdom to know when to choose which. You need a few truth tellers around you to make sense of human messes. Lead anything and anyone – you’re going to have plenty of messes you didn’t make, you don’t want to deal with, and you’re not sure what to do with, yet the mess is yours (sometimes, yours a lone) to make sense of. Unite or untie. Loosely coupled or the acute pain to align? Choose wisely. God, help us all. Good.
Live hard. Love harder (Thanks, Teeks)…