One of my favorite and frequent prescription for my clients is to master the art of “being with.” The journey to becoming BTL requires the leader to habituate simply being with her team. Nothing builds trust more than the non anxious presence of a leader who is proximate to her team. Simple, not easy. Be with. Here’s the paradox. It’s not enough to simply be with. Sometimes (oftentimes, actually) you, leader, have to be the man. Be with and be the man.
The BTL leader embraces this paradox and understands that it’s their job to also be the man. Being with without being the man is not leading, it’s more akin to being a good friend or cute puppy dog. In order to be with and be the man, the BTL leader must possess a strong core, clear opus, and the wisdom to toggle from one to the other. This is not simple or easy. This is really, freakin’ hard and takes a ton of time, a few truth tellers around you, and a willingness to be humbled in front of the very ones we’re supposed to be leading.
Be with and be the man is only for the few. The few willing to master the moments of ambiguity and lead anyway. These leaders toggle wisely. Sometimes they make the team do more than they think and sometimes they stay quiet, being with, and let them figure it out. Sometimes smiling and jumping for joy and sometimes being ccd, correcting, and even imploring ‘em for more. Sometimes these leaders get heated, make mistakes, and humbly repair. Good. Slow down and reflect upon your leadership, friend. You most likely are better at being with or being the man. Lean against your tendency. Lean into it too. Lean on others as well. Nobody is as smart as everybody. Be with and be the man. Figure it out. Do not be afraid of being “that guy!” You already are. Good.
Live hard. Love harder (Thanks, Teeks)…