Conflict happens. Our reactions are, well, as varied as we are. The tendencies of the sexes are for men to stonewall and women to begin with harsh criticism. Your job, men, is to study your partner (and all loved ones for that matter) and stop being such a baby and running the first time conflict happens. Most men get emotionally overwhelmed way before women and when we get overwhelmed we run for cover. And, since most conflict, at it’s root, is about nothing, we’re busy running from nothing. Talk about making something out of nothing, huh.
So, it only makes sense men, that there’s no solution. This is good news for all us fix it types (most men live here relationally). All we gotta do is hang in there and stay connected, attune to our partner, and their emotions. As we master the turn toward instead of the wimpy turn away, listen with understanding, and feel what she’s feeling, we learn how to “be there for her.” That friend would be something.
So, there you have it fellow fix her freaks, you’ve got something positive to habituate when, you know, nothing happened but you know she aint happy. You now know something about dealing with nothing. God, help me practice doing something about dealing with nothing. And, that something has nothing to do with fixing another, it’s all about understanding and accepting, right. Our evolution as mature men is to learn that understanding another is something even though it feels a lot like nothing. God, help me enjoy the adventure and understand that conflict’s simply part of it and points us upward to your Grace and understanding face. God, help me stop making something out of nothing and instead habituate doing something about nothing. God, help me.
Live hard. Love harder…