Most people give too much “respect” to leaders at work and too little to family at home. You see, everyday I hear strong, high performing leaders tell me hard truths about their reality. Their board/boss is doing x,y,z and it’s crippling the company. They go on and on with crystal clarity. I stop them after a few minutes and ask them if they have been this clear with their board/boss. The answer is, of course not. My advice is to talk to their leader in exactly the same way they spoke to me. Pass the tension to its rightful owner, in other words. Instead, the default is to hold onto the tension with the owner and subconsciously take it home. This tension sits in your craw, friend, and your craw leaks. This is where the cliche – “kick the dog” comes from. Btw, none of my clients kick the dog. A lot of ‘em, however, take the frustrations home and the negative emotions leak out with their loved ones.
Reverse the equation, my strong, high performing leader or individual contributor. Treat everyone with respect, exactly the same amount. Do not treat those in a one up position differently than those you perceive in a one down position to you. Embody truth in love. Pass tension at work. Prove your strength by holding more of it at home. I mean come on man, you do know those you plan to grow old with are not those with whom you work, right? If you want to grow old, but not tired with your loved ones, stop bringing so many of your frustrations home simply because you fear the man/woman. Remember, you are strong. Stop being so deferential toward those above you and so damn demanding of those below and beside you. None are God.
Respect equally. All humans deserve respect. Model the way. Embrace pain and suffering. Embody truth in love. Stop being so damn normal and start becoming BTL. Good…