When I was a kid, fear ruled me. I had nightmares and couldn’t seem to get them out of my weak mind. My dad would tell me stories and lay beside me on many nights to calm me down. Was. Not. Pretty. I was afraid of the basement, darkness, and always thought to look over my shoulder out of fear. Fear of death dominated me.
Becoming BTL is all about finding more love. The more we humans bathe in love, the less fear grips our minds. Today, my strong CORE, authentic OPUS, and discipline to PoP, have left fear in their wake. My mind is fixated on mastering what matters to me. What keeps me awake at night, now, is the anticipation of the OPUS ahead. Magnesium and CBD oil help put me in chill mode after a day filled with flow. When you look at your fears, look beyond them. Find a worthy aim off in the distance. Visualize it. Anticipate it. Now, focus on the current iteration.
Find joy in the moment. Like Farmer this early am on the 3PP driveway addition. When I asked him how he was doing in the middle of 364 jump squats, he told me he was good. He is. We are finding joy in doing hard things together. We have big, physical dreams for 2021 and well beyond. We love the thought of accomplishing them and find joy in the moment striving, pulling, reaching, without fear – at least that’s the way it feels.
Fear is there, you just don’t think about it when there’s more love. Live hard. Love harder. Good…
BUILT TO LEAD 
The day is coming when I stand before my Master’s throne while he asks hard questions about what I did with what he gave me. That’s what I fear. I want to hear, “Well done good and faithful servant.” But I fear I haven’t done well.
The only answer to that fear is love. He is love and he longs to show me his love, his truth, his way and his life. My role is to receive, believe, trust and walk out what he freely gives to me in his love. What he gives to me is given for the benefit of others; I am blessed to be a blessing. I must receive and give, grasp and let go, follow and lead, come and go.
Yesterday in practice 469 we were talking about when the Master said, “to find your life you must lose it.” That is the essence of fear and love! They are one and the same when we let go of everything to grab hold of everything.
There’s one fear that comes to my mind the most – leaving this world, arriving to Heavens doorstep, and looking back at my life with nothing to show for it. Going to God knowing that I didn’t complete the mission, the purpose, that He set out for me. I fear leaving this world unchanged. We live in a very messy world right now that needs love & grace more than ever. No better time for fight for Kingdom territory, right? Overcoming this fear is taking one step at a time. Consistent action, stretch the comfort, show love and grace to myself so that I can pour it right into others. Change and heal my core so that I can show others how too.
Finances have been a major healing area. For as long as I can remember, I feared losing my job, the thought of going bankrupt, the thought of not being able to provide for my family. Thank God He’s shown me how to surrender that to the cross, leave that burden behind, freeing me of any stress. I can sleep well knowing our finances (and our lives) are in the most high of hands. He’s watching, protecting, guiding. I’m watching, listening, and doing. Beating fear is changing who I listen to. I choose to hear His voice, His truth. Thankful for this journey to write these thoughts out and bring peace and serenity to them.
Today’s chapter in the book + a virtual summit I attended today has me filled with love leaving no room for fear. Fear would have had me sitting back and letting others contribute today, but love had me searching for the right questions in breakout groups to help others along their journey. Fear would have said, “Mastermind? come on!” Love has me all in looking for people to bring along and my hand up to opportunity to learn. The more I fill my life with love, loving myself and my family and my neighbor, the more I look for opportunities to give, the less room is left for fear.
As I read through the five fears Don Brown wrote about, I can see each one impacting my life, but at varying levels. Without question the biggest fear I wrestle with is the fear of coming and going without leaving a mark.
This fear has brought about many questions and even second guessing at times, as I want my life to matter, I want to live on purpose, for a purpose. I want to know that I made am impact. It’s amazing as to how “busy” things get and previously, I would seldom schedule in time to reflect and slow down to critically think. Back to those 3 incredibly powerful letters… Why. Why am I doing, what I am doing. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day, the busyness of life, never taking the time to identify my beliefs, desires, and direction.
How do I begin to face this fear – this brings me back to Day 1. I’m hear to find clarity and working on my CORE daily.