Why is it so hard to esteem yourself? That is a deep question and one that needs to be unpacked at a personal level.
For me, the inability to esteem myself and staying hard/down on self for too long manifested in anxiety. I had a breakthrough when I gained more clarity on a key worldview related to this subject:
I believe anxiety is the delta between how you are living and who you really are.
However, there is a nuance I need to add. You have to understand who you are at a very deep level and ensure that who you believe you are is not exclusively the product of who other people want you to be. The trap is convincing yourself you are doing it all wrong because of what other people have told you how to live.
Stop that shit, build awareness of the script others gave you that aren’t serving you and flip them into your own authentic voice and vision.
This mornings practice was a heavy one with a client whose working on this exact thing. He is the toughest critic of himself that often leads to him becoming down on-self.
We uncovered the root of the reasoning today was built on a worldview that is just not true and was imposed upon him by another. He began to flip the script on his worldview. He wants to change his behavior to live in more alignment with authentic clarity and we are going to be tracking the wins in his scorecard each and every week. We will celebrate these baby steps as much as a major milestone because we believe in the infinite power of compounding returns.
How can you flip the script on being down on self (anxious)? Get clarity on who you are and how you want to live. Then celebrate your progress in that direction like crazy.