Masters are hard on self, not down on self. This BTL truth is one that requires daily stewardship as we lead ourselves, let alone as we lead others. As Chet shares in today’s BBTL being hard on self requires courage in the losses…and humility in the wins.
My And is that we regularly toggle between the two while stewarding our 50,000 thoughts per day in real time as stuff happens. That’s tiring to even think about! And that requires a strong Core to act as our rudder through the stuff.
My natural bent is to be hard on self, thankfully not down on self, in both wins and losses. My Positivity and faith help me to be more Tigger than Eeyore. However I am also a Maximizer/Achiever/Futuristic/Activator. There is always more to improve, more gains to achieve and always more to accomplish. The downside of this constant state is that I don’t slow down to celebrate the wins for myself. Hardly ever… in fact, almost never. I love celebrating them for others. That is as natural to me as breathing. Yes, I am a work in progress.
One of my PA’s for harnessing my self-talk is that I ask vetting questions in the moment or shortly after a win or a loss:
- Does that thought spur me on to improve or does it tear me down in my being?
- Does that thought strengthen my belief that I’ll get through this or does it make me want to quit?
- Did my internal response feed my ego or did it feed my desire to get better because I know I don’t know it all? (Thank you, Socrates)
- What thoughts belie unbelief that I need to correct now?
- My Worldview reminds me that God does not condemn, instead He helps me to find a better way. Is my self-talk echoing His Core? Or does it stem from my human brokenness?
Lastly, here is a key from my personal experience and as a Builder… it’s an important one. Make sure it is your own voice that comprises your self-talk…not a toxic tape from someone else. Most of us have them, perhaps from childhood, or from a coach or a boss or a friend who did not believe in us. Who wanted to cut us down a notch. Those are tapes we need to shed to become Masters.
Harness your self-talk AND rinse it to make sure it is your voice, stemming from your Core. Build your vetting questions so you can catch yourself in real-time if you go too high or too low.
This is good work. This is important work. God help me to hear your voice as I rinse my self-talk.