Day 243 – Bend…

In today’s BBTL book entry, Chet writes about mindset and the need, in some instances, to “bend” one’s fixed mindset toward a growth mindset.

This is my last day as lead blogger.  And while Chet’s advice to each of us was, “Don’t write ahead,”  (he thought it best that we read the book entry that day and write about what grabs us in the moment), I’ve known since August 1  the theme of my writing on August 31…Chet.  

Allow me, then, to bend your ear a bit, while I bend this blog toward Chet.

I have been blessed all my life with a wonderful family, many good friends, and several very special friendships which I deeply appreciate.  But I keep a list — a very short list — of those individuals who have made a truly profound impact on my life and the lives of my family.  Each of these treasured few appeared at the very time I needed them most.  I did not look for them.  I did not earn them.  But there they were, anyway — delivered, perhaps, by a guardian angel. 

I lost my father and my grandfather in the same week.  But that really didn’t flatten me.  I loved them both and would miss them dearly, but my default setting, like theirs, has always been and optimistic, glass-half-full approach to counting my blessings.  And my blessings were countless — beginning with my wife and our beautiful two-year-old twins.   And thanks to my guardian angel, an advisor named Jim fell into my lap and help me navigate the waters I didn’t expect to sail for another couple decades.  So, I was good.

The following summer, our son was diagnosed with autism.  This was a real gut punch and put me on my heels.  But again, my overriding feelings were that of gratitude — my daughter was shining brighter every day, I knew Karen and I could do and would do whatever we needed to help our son.  And, just four days after the news, a mutual friend introduced us to Becky, the woman who would stop our minds from racing, begin working one-on-one with our son, and help us start the school he still attends, 24 years later.  That mutual friend – good ol’ Jim.  So…again, I was good.  

The next several years were pretty much a blur, as the demands of our growing business compounded alongside the growing needs of our son.  We had hired our first non-family president and I had begun the process of working my way out of the family business.  From my perspective, Karen, our daughter, and our son’s school were all doing great, and I had options.  So, I was good.  

But it was becoming clear to me that my good was not great.  I was sailing just fine, but without a rudder.  It turns out I was not alone in this realization. 

And so it was, that in the winter of 2006, I found myself sitting at a big, round table at Muirfield Village Golf Club — notebook in one hand, pen in the other, listening to some dude I’d just met named Chet Scott, and soaking up his Chetness.  Jim (yes, that Jim) had made the introduction. 

I credit my grandparents, my parents and my wife, Karen, for showing me what true greatness looks like, so that I would recognize it when I saw it.  And I recognized it in Chet.  Immediately.  The idea that he had made it his OPUS to help others find theirs grabbed me, practically by the throat.

I asked Chet if he would coach me – sorry, build me.  He said, “Yes,”  but with a look that told me I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  He was, as he’s been ever since, correct.

My journey since meeting Chet has been one of fits and starts.  Have I taken full advantage of the gift of his building and his friendship?  I have not.  You can lead a horse to water…  

But have I grown immensely from the work I have done – the work he and I did together, the work I’ve done since, and from this Band of Builders we’ve become?  You bet your ass I have.  

Chet Scott is on that list – that very short list.  He has made a profound and lasting impact on my life in ways he could never fully imagine. 

He made me want to dig, then helped me dig, to build my CORE and define the real me.  Since then, I have been putting the real me into my old friendships and into my new friendships.  I have put the real me into my work with clients and my role with our family business.  I have put the real me into my son’s commencement speech and my daughter’s father-of-the-bride toast.  There is a soft, steady, and reassuring drum beat in everything I do now.  And the more I focus on my own journey – the more consistently I build my own CORE – the more clearly I hear that drum beat in my relationships and in my work. 

BTL has done this for me.  Chet has done this for me.  And the greatest gift – the one for which I am most grateful – is the opportunity to do this for others. 

Thank you, Chet.  

As I put a bow on August, it’s my pleasure to introduce you to our September sensei.  Beginning tomorrow, you’ll be hearing from Taylor Scott.  Taylor is Chet’s fourth child, his third son, and so much more – which you’ll soon discover.  From my perspective, Tay is deliberate in his thinking – which I admire, CCD in his delivery – which I envy :), and wise beyond his years – which we will ALL enjoy.

In the CCD words of Jets linebacker, Bart Scott, “CAN’T WAIT!”

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