Returned from The Breakers bubble late last night. Was one beautiful time away with family and a few friends too. Came back to snow, wind, and pain. Had not done much in the way of work, so upon re-entry today, I read some of my clients Sunday writing. More than a few are going through hard things, not of their choosing. Unchosen suffering is a whole other animal from chosen suffering. The one preps for the other but it’s still acutely painful when unchosen greets us at the door. Damn.
When unchosen suffering comes through your front door (doesn’t matter if you answer it, btw, it’s coming) you’ve got only a couple choices.
Distraction or deal.
Most choose distraction. Drink. Drug. Do anything to take your mind off your pain. Don’t think about it, you know. Works until it doesn’t.
Deal. Do whatever it takes to deal with it, best you are able. Deal. This one always involves stepping into it. Active. Eventually productive but most often more painful and more immediately so. PA (productive action) is the way through, it’s just easier written than dealt with. What helps?
Reminders. This is why CORE and OPUS are your compass and map. During life storms you need these tools and you need to hold them in your heart. This requires you remind yourself of them before the crucible. You look at them daily. You rinse them regularly. You remind yourself of who you are, why you’re here, where you’re going, and why it matters.
Small example for me today. I’m training for chosen suffering in 121 days. French alps. Family. Friends. It’s not the big dream, but it’s part of it. The picture above sums it up for me. Emma Kate gave me those shoes per my request. They are Aedán James first shoes. I placed them strategically so I can see them every time I ride the Pelly in preparation for France IV. The TV is there too. I listen to music, follow the Peloton instructor, and watch sports. All. To. Distract.
I will be looking at Aedán James shoes to remind me why I’m training so hard. You see, I want to grow old but not tired teaching him things, being with him doing them, and participating, not spectating as long as possible. He’s part of my ever increasing why around work and life. I choose to suffer on the pelly so I’m prepared for the beauty and beast that are the Alps. This is chosen suffering. The unchosen is coming. This is the best inoculation I’ve found. I’m working on doing the deal, not distracting. His shoes are my latest reminder of why it matters.
What reminds you, friend, of whose you are, who you are, why you’re here, where you’re going, and why it matters? Maybe it’s time for your compass and map to serve as your reminder. Have you authored them? How long since a hard rinse? Do they guide you into the rough waters to deal accordingly? Slow down. Reflect. Unchosen suffering is coming. You gonna be ready to deal?
Live hard. Love harder. Deal…
BUILT TO LEAD 
“I want to grow old but not tired.” – Chet
“There will be plenty of time for rest in the grave.” -Shakespeare
Last week I attended a funeral. People said words no one will remember, about a person they will soon forget. I loved this person deeply. But they hated me even more deeply.
They died from the slow suicide of embracing comfort without pain. I choose to I live by embracing pain and avoiding comfort.
Therefore, I remain a lone wolf, deep in the belly of Hell, seeking to go deeper.
You are not a lone. Together we transform. Always together.