Every system is filled with tension. The best tension comes when your system is growing faster than you thought it could. This is fun for awhile. The worst kinda tension comes when your system is receding. No system can survive a deep, relentless recession for long. Fact.
Nearly everyday, we the BTL band, help our clients distribute tension to its rightful owner.
Tension, remember, is not the problem. Owning more than your own, is. This is painfully obvious to see in other systems than your own. When it comes to seeing this tension in ourselves, our brain tricks us in a million little ways to miss the mark. Look at anybody with the “responsibility” strength and you will see this strength stretched into a nightmare. Why? They can’t see the fact they “naturally” try to own their weaker (or less caring) partners tension. This creates resentment and enables victimhood. You want more of both? Keep biting your tongue…
High performing systems are filled with tension and the tension is equitably distributed throughout. This sounds easy. It’s not. If your system is not growing or as vibrant as you want, take a look around and study tension. What is its root and where is it most present and why? You will most likely find tension doesn’t “belong” to its rightful owner. Somebody or some group is pushing their tension to someone willing to take it. STOP allowing this bullshit behavior. Call it out with truth in Love. Get curious and challenging. Do your job…
Your job, as a leader, is to distribute the tension in your system to its rightful owner, hold them accountable, challenge them to use the tension to stretch themselves in the right kinda way, and ensure they understand the consequences when they do or do not. Choose to own your tension, period. Step up and deal with those unwilling to own theirs. STOP waiting for when the times right or you’re in a good place. The time rarely feels right. You’re never in a good enough place. Leaders understand this truth and do it now, anyway. Nike (victory). Just do it. You do want to win, right…
STOP owning others tension.
Realize you are harming not helping when you “bite your tongue.” Truth, remember, may hurt. Truth will not harm. Truth heals. Truth helps. Push the tension to its rightful owner. Expect the chronic pain to become more acute before it gets better. Embrace this. Keep doing this until they step up and own it.
Elite teams have fights to improve performance, not prove a point. Normal ones settle for false harmony. Want a better team? Become a better leader. Stop waiting for the head of the system to handle it. Initiate. It’s your team, remember. ACT like it. You may not be liked by some. You may, in fact, be loathed. Remember, if everybody “loves” you, you’re not a leader. Damn it!
Live hard. Love harder. Pass the tension…
BUILT TO LEAD 