Every week in this practice we call BTL, we are forced to face facts. Here’s one that is a tough truth to face. All humans hurt and most humans are hurting from injuries of long ago. Humans can only, effectively, hold one mess in their head at a time. Most have a bakers dozen or more. This is the root why behind the fact that there are few dreamers and doers in any system. Few. The truth is these few rarely had it easier than you or me. The truth is the few who dream and do have simply decided to not “pass it on.” It is tough to not pass along your pain. One of the strongest people in BTL practice wrote me recently regarding her learning in our journey into a tough, timely, topic – building emotional intelligence. She is a great example of someone choosing to not “pass it on.”
Slow down as you let this in, friend.
“My dad’s numbness to emotion and “stone cold” nature had a deep, dark, impression on me. I have to fight through tears when I talk about it which is how I know it still hurts. He scared me and scarred me as a little kid. I strive every day to be the opposite of him – To love God and use prayer to keep my spirit positive through struggles – To not hide from my fears, flaws, and imperfections – To love who I am and be ok with making mistakes – To protect my kids from feeling the dark cloud I used to feel lingering in our home. My kids won’t have to recover from their childhoods; They are loved, every minute of every day.
I care about and love people and am not afraid to show it. I am not afraid of being vulnerable and not afraid of rejection. PA: Talk to him. Forgive him.”
Humans who are mastering their emotional intelligence, remember, are thermostats not thermometers. These few regulate the feeling/vibe when their presence enters a room. We feel better being ’round them. Normal humans simply reflect the prevailing temperature in a room like a thermometer. And, the world is filled with humans carrying fear, anger, and loads of old/new hurts who haven’t built a strong enough CORE to stop passing on the pain. Thanks, young lady, for choosing to not pass your pain along. Thanks for not…
You’re tough and tender. Good..