BTL, dilemmas, pride, and partnership…

This morning a client took almost an hour to tell me a very emotional story regarding partnership relationships that have him on the horns of a dilemma. His business requires him to build relationships with lots of folks that don’t necessarily like one another. Oftentimes, he finds himself stuck in the middle again. His story shook him to his core as he spoke to me this morning. In his own way, he was crying out for clarity. As our time wound down, he looked me in the eye and asked me to tell him what to do.

Without pause, I returned his glance with a piercing, calming, and ccd council. I told my client through the history of time nothing has repaired more relationship than simply being present, especially when being present is uncomfortable. I told him to get in his car and go be with his pissed off partner. Go to him. Start the convo with something simple and sincere. Do not respond to his anger with a righteous version of your own. Absorb. Be the bigger man. Listen. Take in his argument. Offer your hand. Speak the truth with regard to your other relationships that he loathes. Do not make empty promises. Good.

My clients face began to glow again. “That’s great advice,” he said. “I’ll do it.” My client is a man of his word. He just got better. He is no longer on the horns of a dilemma. Funny, his dilemma was all about swallowing his pride to face his partner. He is not gong to be humiliated in the process. He’s being built. He’s becoming BTL. What partnerships of yours could use a bit more of your presence? Go, friend, and be with. Good.

You too will become BTL…

1 Comment

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One response to “BTL, dilemmas, pride, and partnership…

  1. Awesome, Toto. Awesome.

    When you’re on the horns of this kind of dilemma it’s what Friedman calls a triangulated relationship. As in the devil’s triangle. Your role when you are in a triangulated relationship is to stay RELATIONALLY connected but emotionally DISTINCT. Self-regulate through your strong core so as NOT to REACT to the other person(s)’s emotional state, and keep THEIR relationship between THEM.

    Simple, yes. Easy, no. Good reminder that who you ARE when you are with them is more important than what you say or do.

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