Yesterday, during two different team practices I found myself quoting Rob Lowe. I know, I can’t believe it either. A client (thanks, Ron) recommended I read Rob’s latest book titled, Love Life and I devoured it in a day, was surprised how much I liked it, and how much I learned.
Who knew Rob was a history buff, thoughtful politically, descendant of the Hessian mercenaries, and loved the movie “My dog Skip,” (had my bride at that one). He even hired an acting coach (the late Roy London) who taught him something very BTL – Actors play the truth. Rob never went to college but he’ll never be the same after taking his son, Matthew, to his east coast college of choice. Rob had his first taste of alcohol at 5 and his last taste on May 10, 1990 (except for a slip up in the air where he mistook a mimosa for an o.j.). He’s one of the few addicts where rehab, well, rehabbed him. He has eaten his share of “wish sandwiches” but no more. Rob is a reader; turns out, according to him, most actors are not. He believes in making memories and the best ones aren’t the expensive ones, instead, they’re the ones you have a hand in architecting.
My favorite learning from this book was Rob’s coaching to his son when dropping him off at college. His son was doubting his belonging at this place of higher education. His son was anxious. He turned to Dad for some solace and courage. Dad, remember, never even went to college much less one with the pretense and pressure found in this moment. Here’s what he told his son in his moment of doubt.
“Never compare your insides to someone else’s outsides.”
Yesterday, during practice 226 with Choice crazies, we translated this thought to the root of so many self limiting beliefs. Oftentimes, our crazy, negative beliefs begin when we compare our insides to someone else’s outsides. We assume, since they look so good on the outside, they most certainly have it all figured out on the inside. We compare and find ourselves coming up small, so we play to it. Instead of comparing, friend, use your psychic energy to build your insides – your CORE. Build within. Become who you are. As you do the heavy lifting within, you’ll start to see others outsides as, well, just their outward appearance. Nothing more. Nothing less. And, as your CORE gains strength, you’ll focus on living in alignment with who you are. Paradoxically this freedom will allow you to be grateful for the differences in teammates around you. Instead of comparing and competing, you’ll find yourself complimenting, congratulating, and encouraging. Good. So, friend, never compare your insides to others outsides. Build your insides and fill ’em with love so you’ll have something good to give to someone else.
What team couldn’t use a few teammates who never compare but instead make it their modus operandi to compliment, congratulate, and give courage? I’m not sure, but I’m willing to bet your team could use a giving teammate. Go on. Be ONE. Good…