Human desire is a fascinating subject. We are very diverse and eerily similar in our pursuit. Our American founders were not far from the mark when they stated the American dream as “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”
Most of us highly value life first and foremost. However, there are countless humans throughout history who have valued liberty above even their life. In fact, that is why we are here blogging and reading away, in the comfort of our homes, airports, coffee shops, places of work, and just about anywhere we like. We are alive in a time of unprecedented freedom around the world. In America most of us have the opportunity to live freely and pursue whatever makes us happy. Stunningly this freedom hasn’t, statistically speaking, resulted in a whole bunch of us being lit. In fact, Americans are more depressed, drug addicted, overweight, and more alone than ever. We’re more connected with our friends on facebook than the ones next door. We can’t seem to solve the riddle to satisfy a deep longing within.
The more I study our plight and specifically the circumstances that surround my clients, I’ve stumbled onto a few learnings that might be worth sharing. I believe humans desire has two roots that branch out deep and wide. We want to belong and become. Let me unpack a bit. We all desire to know who we are. We want to see ourselves for who we are and know we’re unique, autonomous, on the road to mastery, with a sense of purpose and a place in this world that is ours. We want to know our identity. We want to know our secret name, as Revelations reveals and Kary writes about. We want to become.
And, we all want to belong. We want to be understood by another and fully accepted. In other words we want to know who we are and achieve autonomy. And, at the same time be one with another, belong to a team, belong in a family, belong to a neighborhood, belong to a club, and on and on and on it goes. We want to belong.
Here’s the crazy part to this puzzle. We can’t force our sense of belonging. We can’t make someone want to be with us, join our team, treat us as family, be neighborly, invite us into their club, and understand and accept us for who we are. We can, however, give this gift of belonging to another. We can let another human know that they can count on us. We can invite people into relationship and give freely to meet their needs. We are free to give this gift.
And, we can discover our passions, purposes, and begin working like a banshee toward mastering our crafts. We can become. How much time/energy are you focused on what you can control – your sense of becoming vs what you can’t control – your sense of belonging? Focus on controllable efforts, friend. Focus on becoming. Give the gift of belonging to another. You’ll find where you fit along the way. As I challenged the team of krazies in practice 194, focus on what you can control. Focus on initiating. Initiate some PA (productive action) toward becoming. Initiate a move toward mastery. Don’t wait or hesitate, friend. Initiate a move toward mastery where you are today, in your place of employ.