Men get mad. Women feel afraid. Yup, when startled (think car cuts you off in traffic or truck swerves wrecklessly in front of you and your friends while cycling out on a quiet country road in central Ohio) – men get mad and women become afraid. You see, men, women’s biggest differences from us are around rhythm and fear. Most of us are aware of women’s rhythm difference from their menstrual cycle and have made adjustments accordingly. We’re not gonna dive deeper here, men, so you can relax and read on.
Very few men, however, deeply understand how frequently our women feel fear. When the Gottman’s run their couples seminars they often ask the question “When was the last time you feared for your life?” Most of the men can barely recall a time and if they do it was way back in the day. Almost all the women can recall a time in the past week or two and relay the story in living color. Women experience fear, especially physical fear, as part of the rhythm of daily life. Most men aren’t physically afraid much at all even when small like me. I trash talk almost all the time without a thought given to Grappy, Stud, Downer, Dub, or any other dude for that matter, throwing a punch in response. Women feel fear in an unfamiliar rhythm to us, men. We gotta adjust accordingly.
So, men, tune in. Remember this. Every time you get mad, frustrated, raise your voice, or display any other negative reaction (like tailgating the dumbass that cut you off in traffic), you are likely igniting the amygdal (emotional center of the brain) of the women around you. You may react by wanting to fight and the women are gonna wanna take flight. Instead, take four deep breathes and count to ten. Calm and soothe thyself. Turn toward your woman and laugh at the poor driving display of some stranger you’re never gonna see again who is probably driving erratically out of some irrational fear of his/her own. Fact.
Strong men stay calm. Emotions are contagious. Are your’s worth catching, friend? Good…