Yesterday, during BTL team practice 18, we had a couple outsiders attend practice for the first time. These were good dudes and added a lot. However, their presence visibly ignited the big five fears in the existing team. This happens all the time. Most times it happens without us being conscious of it happening. Unknowingly, we just close down a little bit, hold back some of the words we’re thinking, and play it a bit safer in terms of the topics we take on. My role, and one I’m on the road toward mastering, is to not allow things to go unsaid.
Remember, the most damaging sins are the sins of omission.
So, yesterday, I interrupted practice and showed a strong leader how he can become stronger by slowing down and allowing others to finish their thoughts and even express their feelings. You see, the best leaders listen for the yearning. Listen for the yearning. Yes. Here’s what I mean. Yesterday, something rather ghostly happened – a teammate told their leader that they disagreed. They think the transition is taking too long and the communication too infrequent. The leader heard them whining and quickly explained why their perspective was invalid. Of course, this is only my perception. I used a story as a way to drive home my point. I’m not sure how many understood the freakin’ magic learning in the moment, but it was there.
You will not stay married for long, friend, if you don’t learn to hear the yearning from your better half, not the whining. Most expressions of frustration, sadness, and anger are not the root emotion. Most humans when they communicate these feelings are deeply yearning for connection. They aren’t complaining as much as they are craving connection. So, hear the yearning friend. Hear the yearning. You cannot hear when you’re in a hurry to respond. As you master this skill of tuning in like an animal being stalked, you will be rewarded. Remember, the more you give the more, paradoxically, you will receive. It is more blessed to give than receive. Thank you, Jesus.
Give the gift of understanding, leader. Give. You will receive more than you give. Good..