Today, during practice 228 with k-dev krazies, we built some clarity within and with each other. Krazies shared their thinking in a most vulnerable, authentic, and freeing fashion. Many in attendance walked out inspired, I know I did. Here’s one of the reminders I shared with them after being prompted by young Anthony and his comments around regrets.

Remember, friends, when you’re 90 you will wish for the 3 R’s. Ninety year olds, when asked what they would do differently if given the gift of a “redo,” consistently answer with the 3 R’s.

They wish they had taken more risks. Remember, humans are hard wired, predominately, for loss aversion. They wish they invested more time in the relationships that matter. Remember, men are the biggest culprits here. Men tend to over-value metrics and measurement; meaning not so much – at least till we reach a certain age. And, 90 somethings wish they had reflected more. Remember, the untrained brain avoids slowing down and staring at it’s naval cause it tends to go all negative in the process. The normal brain simply gets busy to avoid such uncomfortable conversations with itself. Here’s the problem with avoidance strategies in our “youth,” so to speak – when we’re older they turn into regret. When we’re young our regret is mostly focused on acts of commission. We wish we hadn’t done or said something. When we’re old and we reflect back, however, mostly what we’re gonna remember are regrets of ommision.


Hmmm. What are you thinking about, my friends? Does your calendar reflect your attempt to do it all or do you have margin for spontaneity alongside your responsibility? Have you a better understanding of your portfolio than the people you’re pursuing it for? Do you sense alignment as you walk through your week or does it feel like somethings a bit out of whack? Maybe you and I would benefit from some RR&R.  Stop thinking so much about the fear of failure or how badly it went when you went there the last time. Chalk it up to experience and get after it or them again because you want to. Take more risks, choose to lose with those you love, and write like a banchee as a habit of your heart. Remember, if it all goes super bad beyond your worst nightmare you can always invoke the 4th R – repair.

Risk. Relate. Reflect. Do more than you think, friend. You can do more than you think. Good…

1 thought on “Regrets…

  1. So good Chester. Spot on. Thanks for taking the time to write these (re)minders out the way you do.

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