Last night, toward the end of BTL team practice 80 with a team of grapplers, one of the leaders shared a desire of his. He said something like he wanted this years team to be the kinda team where anybody could come to anybody and feel cared for. I stopped him mid-sentence.
Here’s what I told him. Everybody wants this. Everybody wants to work/live in real community and know they are cared for. The only way it happens, though, is when you get out of your own head (we are all mostly stuck here, btw) and embrace Marcus Aurelius’s mantra – “It’s up to you.” I reminded this strong man that it’s up to him to embody what he wants to see in everybody else on this team. If you want any place you take up residence, friend, to reflect a caring, competitive, challenging, and courage giving kinda culture – it’s up to you. Everybody wants this. Only a few are willing to “be the change,” as Ghandi reminds us. Be one of the few.
So, friend, stop wanting a more caring family life. Care more for every family member. Stop wanting a more caring work life. Care more for everyone you work with. Simple, not easy. Yesterday, I reached out to another long, lost friend. We hadn’t connected in forever it felt. We talked on the phone for twenty five minutes. He recalled something I had said to him at a Starbucks in UA on 11.11.11. He played it back to me verbatim nearly 7 years later! Said he thinks about it all the time. I had no idea. We hadn’t talked in years. How does this happen?
The road toward becoming one, distinct and deeply connected, runs parallel to the superhighway titled – One, distinct and disconnected. Nobody has time for everybody. Nobody stays connected perfectly. Be one of the few who chooses the road less traveled, the narrow one titled distinct and deeply connected. Be the one who cares for others, who people know they can count on when their world goes dark. Take the time to initiate connection. So many people want deeper connections yet they can’t quite be the one to pick up the phone, go a little out of their way, or take the time to signal caring, somehow, someway. Be one of the few who chooses the road less traveled, the even narrower one labeled simply – Initiate.
Whatever team you’re on just became the kinda team where it feels like people care.