Yesterday, during practice 97 with a team that’s getting real, we discovered the root why behind why deep, lasting, behavioral change is so difficult. We read 2.5 pages out of a book that sited a troubling statistic about heart attack patients. After their first heart attack, the convo with the cardiologist goes somewhat predictably – start exercising, stop eating this or that, lower hyperstress, and whatever other behavior modifications the doc thinks are pertinent to her patient. And, of course, the patient nods along in agreement. “You’re right, doc,” is the most common response. Makes sense. 90% don’t do anything. 90% continue to do exactly what hurt their heart in the first place. 90%! Here’s why.
Lack of agitation.
Nobody consistently agitates them and they haven’t learned to agitate themselves. Deep change is irritating, uncomfortable, and sometimes acutely painful. Most humans cannot do it a lone and most humans don’t have a truth teller (pain in the ass) beside them. Builders are agitators. Coaches agitate. Leaders too. Stop trying to be nice, friend, be kind instead. Kind is love in action. Sometimes you’re tender and sometimes tough. I suggest if you have a loved one whose heart is under attack, you might not want to be so nice and passive. Tough love might set you and them free. BTL Builders & Leaders agitate, not because they want to but because it’s the right thing to do.
Agitate, friend. That’s right. Good…