I can’t remember a day, not one day, where Self-Doubtwas not hanging around in my brain. All I have to do is decide to set a lofty goal, build a new skill or step out of my comfort zone and the beast of self-doubt is ready to pounce on my plans. If you read this blog site regularly you know how much the words fear and self-doubt are discussed in various blogs.
I know that a lot of this fear and self-doubt is simply part of our human nature and deeply embedded in our DNA and believe me I understand it! I have read countless books on the subject and numerous articles. However, when your battling self-doubt and fear it seems so personal that it’s hard to believe other people experience these same kinds of emotions. You feel like your out on an island of self-doubt and only you are experiencing these feelings, the intensity of fear and self-doubt are so strong!
Just this morning I was working with a client and he is a high performer, a veteran on the team, highly respected and I asked him,” Chris, you seem like such a confident guy, do you experience self-doubt or fear and if so, tell me about it?” He just started laughing, “are you kidding me, I was just thinking before I came in here with all the big changes we have going on am I losing my touch with the team, is my message falling flat and do I really have the ability to inspire these folks during this time of change!” I think if most people are honest they will admit that self-doubt ebbs and flows in their life and can distract you when you least expect it!
At BTL we have approximately 120 discovery questions and several of them relate to fear, self-doubt, resistance and stress. The following questions are examples of those Discovery Questions we ask early in the coaching process.
- Tell me about your greatest deepest fear? What is your fear causing?
- Are you aware of your internal questions that you constantly ask yourself?
- What are the questions you ask yourself when adversity strikes?
- What would you most like to change about your thinking?
Why are these questions so important to ask early in the process? I have yet to meet one client who could not name a fear, an internal negative voice or some kind of resistance that was impacting their ability to reach their full potential. These are development opportunities and the sooner you can begin dealing with them the better!
So how can we mange this formidable foe, the beast of self-doubt? I want to offer a few practical ideas that are part of my process and what I have seen work for our clients.
I learned early on through sports the power of repetition and disciplined training. Training conditions your body and your mind that you can endure pain, you can excel physically and gain confidence in your ability to persevere and achieve.
Self-Efficacy is knowing you were able to achieve and build skill in one area of your life and the possibility of doing the same in another area of your development. That is also greater clarity and knowing self-doubt, (fear and resistance) did not prevail…you beat back the beast of self-doubt!
To gain even greater clarity and build even stronger mental resilience you can do what every Built To Lead Client is challenged to do, begin the process of Building a Strong CORE. Why is this so critical and I believe life changing, the simple answer is the BENEFITS of the 7 C’s:
Do you rid yourself of self-doubt, fear and resistance, NO, will you understand it better, will you be able to self regulate these feeling better, YES! It has worked for me and many of our clients and I bet if you gave it some consideration it will work for you!